How Does He Fix This, Now That He’s in Office?

Our children are the most precious, innocent, valuable, and fragile things that we have in our world.

In the United States they have heard for four years, but with the greatest intensity, the last two years, that there are groups of people either inferior or superior to them simply because of their race, religion, or gender.

We’re supposed to be protecting, nurturing, guiding, and uplifting them. We’re supposed to be allowing them to spend this time as kids, before adulthood takes over and the mountain of drama tumbles in.

How now after four years of ugliness and hate can this person now right these wrongs? How can he now heal the pain he caused? How can he fix the wounds and the breaks he created? How can he unify what he intentionally divided? How can he possibly instill hope when he’s spent more than four years injecting fear into our homes and schools?

Maybe his secret weapon is Melania. She says she wants to take on bullying and specifically cyber-bullying.

It took four years to get here. Hopefully it doesn’t take that long or longer to mend, fix, and heal this disaster.

Spiritual Quotes of the Day: Hope

“You may be experiencing an extremely painful or difficult moment in your life right now, and you aren’t sure what to do, what to say, where to go, or who to turn to—I encourage you and pray that you would turn to God for strength and restored hope”- Natasha L. Foreman

“In those desperate times when we feel like we don’t have an ounce of strength, He will gently pick up our heads so that our eyes can behold something—something that will keep His hope alive in us.” -Kathy Troccoli

“The choice for me is to either look at all the things I have lost or the things I have. To live in fear or to live in hope…Hope comes from knowing I have a sovereign, loving God who is in every event in my life.”- Lisa Beamer (her husband Todd was killed on flight 93 on September 11, 2001).

Copyright 2012. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved.

Spiritual Quotes of the Day: Hope

“You may be experiencing an extremely painful or difficult moment in your life right now, and you aren’t sure what to do, what to say, where to go, or who to turn to—I encourage you and pray that you would turn to God for strength and restored hope”- Natasha L. Foreman

“In those desperate times when we feel like we don’t have an ounce of strength, He will gently pick up our heads so that our eyes can behold something—something that will keep His hope alive in us.” -Kathy Troccoli

“The choice for me is to either look at all the things I have lost or the things I have. To live in fear or to live in hope…Hope comes from knowing I have a sovereign, loving God who is in every event in my life.”- Lisa Beamer (her husband Todd was killed on flight 93 on September 11, 2001).

Copyright 2012. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved.

Natasha’s Thought of the Day: Another Perspective on Loss

By Natasha L. Foreman, MB

In life we have loss. Some things lost naturally and some taken away. Now let me be clear this article is not addressing loss due to physical death; that is altogether a separate article. I’m referring to things we buy, trade, apply for or discard, and yes, even possibly (ending) relationships.

We try to protect ourselves from loss by natural disaster and even the disaster of theft, but sometimes we find that what we appreciated, valued and loved is now gone.

It hurts but it happens; how we deal with it can alter our life considerably.

Perceived or actual theft can really chap your hide. There will always be someone who wants what you have.

They’re not willing to work to get there own; they would rather take what they didn’t earn.

It’s easier that way.

No different than someone not being satisfied with what they have and are fixated on getting what they perceive to be better; a quickness to discard old for new.

We do it with phones, gadgets, cars, televisions, clothes, jewelry accessories, jobs, and yes even people.

We’re always looking for better and then trying to find something wrong with what we have so we can swap them out. Sound familiar?

Many people have no commitment to be committed, and feel no obligation to always be dignified and respectful. So people take what they want, use what they want, discard what they no longer want, and the only person who cares is the person who has experienced the loss—the person discarded or blindsided by theft.

But understand that no one can truly take what’s rightfully yours. I know it sounds like a load of hogwash, but it’s true.

If it can be taken to never be returned then it wasn’t meant for you to have for the rest (or most) of your life.

If it’s yours then it won’t be moved; or if taken, then it will be recovered.

Think of a stolen car that is recovered versus one that the owner never sees again. You have the opportunity to reclaim what’s yours or position yourself to get something else, possibly even better.

In the case of love and the people we love, if they leave out of desire for ‘better’ through total pursuit of their own, or by the luring of another–if they leave you then they were only yours for the time you had them. A reason or a season, but not a lifetime.

If they felt you weren’t good enough then guess what? They helped you by leaving because now you are free to have something else– something better, with a greater reward. They have freed you to live the life you are expected to lead.

We should never be dismayed for long, worry too much, or question repeatedly the why or how, for life should be seen as an investment in experiences and lessons learned with a return on the investment being wisdom.

This is how I deal with loss. I break it down as I go through my healing process. I look at it even before its happened.

I ask myself, “if this thing/person is with me for less time than I would hope for, am I okay with that, and what can/will I do to cope with and heal from the loss?” I’ve ‘lost’ enough in life to do an emotional risk assessment for potential ‘loss’. I also ask myself, “if this was damaged, lost or stolen next week, how devastated would I be?” If my answers are negative then I need to reconsider making that purchase.

This emotional-attachment assessment helps on many levels.

In life it shouldn’t be about trying to hold on to anything, it’s valuing it while you have it and knowing you are strong enough to thrive even if it’s gone. Most importantly, you have to remember that you can’t take it with you when you pass away.

So maybe you lost your car, jewelry, business, house, or job, and yes, maybe even the person you thought was the love of your life (but they thought differently) —think of all of the possibilities that can come your way.

As one door closes another one is bound to open. Keep the faith. Keep trusting and believing that as Pastor Bryan Crute says, “your best and brightest days are still ahead!”

Copyright 2012. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Forgiveness is for the Forgiver More Than for the Forgiven

By Natasha L. Foreman, MBA

I have had the opportunity recently to forgive some people in my life who wronged me over the years. I had forgiven them already, but I guess for them, it was necessary to ask…and in some cases, this was not the first request. In all relationships- business and personal I believe that when we part ways, even on bad terms, you should still forgive the person that you believe wronged you. It’s not so much for them as it is for you. This is your opportunity to leave the past in the past, release the weight you have been carrying around on your shoulders and in your heart, and free yourself from the venom inside that causes you to roll your eyes and suck your teeth every time you think of them.

So a few years ago I walked away from a personal relationship. I had forgiven that person for misleading me, betraying me, and mistreating me. I forgave that person for not treating me with the respect that I deserved- that I had given him. He thought money and gifts were good enough, and they would make me overlook his indiscretions in our relationship. He thought that material possessions and a ‘status’ and ‘title’ excused his behavior and treatment of me. He thought that telling me lies and misleading me were excusable offenses because he was, “a man” and “men will be men”, and some other nonsense.

He forgot he was playing games with a child of God. He also forgot my clear declaration that I shared with him, and every man before and after him…”Be honest and upfront. If you want to see other people then let’s just casually date, so we can both be free to date others” because “Once I’m through I’m through, there are no re-takes, breaks while we figure things out, or break-ups to make-ups…if you cheat I’m gone….”

But what was I thinking? Women didn’t leave him, he left them, so I was obviously delusional and way in over my head in his opinion.

It would appear that he was actually the delusional one. Once I walked away from the relationship there was no looking back, no holding on to memories and hopes for something more with him. No desire to punish him, get even, or parade around him and his friends as a reminder of what he had and lost. I was at peace. I had already moved on before I made the decision to say, “this isn’t working out.” But to have this overwhelming sense of peace and resolve it required me to forgive him, which I did.

Years have passed and it never crossed my mind that this individual would spend the time and resources to track me down to ask for forgiveness. But he did. So once again I forgave him. No emotion, no questions of why, how, and “what did I do to you to make you think I deserved this?” Instead, I calmly and rationally told him that I forgave him years ago, have no interest on rekindling flames or even being friends. I wished him well in life and said a quick prayer hoping he receives the life he has always wanted, and that it falls in line with what God believes he needs.

For him he felt he needed clarification; he needed to know how I knew he was cheating because he had been so careful; he needed to know if we could be friends (I guess he thought the first time I said “no” it was a typo), and if we could meet up from time to time. Quickly, clearly, and succinctly I explained the following…

I knew he was cheating because I pray throughout the day every day that God always reveals the truth to me and never allows me to be hidden from it or blind-sided by it; I told him that he should never attempt to mislead or battle with a ‘believer’ because no weapon formed against us shall ever prosper. I firmly yet respectfully told him again that he had no reason to contact me after that point, that if he has learned from his past and has no intention on repeating it then it’s time for him to move on and learn his next lesson.

Had I still been carrying around resentment, anger, desperation, or even a romantic-type of love for him, this moment would have been destroyed because I would have reacted and responded emotionally, and would have allowed myself to be engaged in a lengthy conversation. I would have allowed his need to feel like he closed the chapter on ‘us’ or manipulative desire to start a new one overwhelm me. Instead this dialogue lasted no more than 10 minutes (the time it took me to finish eating my sandwich, chips, and most of my drink).

Forgiving him once more was again for me.

I have learned over the years that I am quite capable of walking away, moving on, weeding out people who serve no purpose but to distract me, and doing so lovingly. My high self-esteem is an added benefit, because I know that no matter what I go through and who I go through it with, that there is always someone better out there for me; that God is there watching over me and setting things in motion where I eventfully (through obedience) afterwards end up with bigger, better, and more beautiful experiences each and every time…and this has happened after each and every ‘failed’ relationship- both in business and in my love life.

The only way to truly prepare for bigger, better, and more beautiful experiences and blessings is to unload the weight from anger, guilt, fear, and negativity. We have to drain the venom from our minds and bodies that poisons us and everyone in our path. We have to forgive those who wronged us past and present. If you haven’t done it, if you haven’t let go, release that weight and start living your life fully…today!

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

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