Side Chicks Guide to Making a Complete Fool of Yourself

What has our world come to when females can search online for tips on how to become and remain a cheating guy’s side chick?!?

Yep, on WikiHow, females can see how low they can slither to be the best side piece that they can be. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw eleven steps that current and hopeful side chicks can follow to get and possibly keep a man (who already has a girlfriend/wife):

1. Give Him Space
2. Keep Things Interesting
3. Refrain From Having “The Talk”
4. Go With The Flow
5. Don’t Ask Questions
6. Don’t Try to Spend Holidays or Birthdays With The Guy
7. Let Him Get In Touch With You First
8. Always Look Your Best
9. Let Him Think He’s The Only One
10. Don’t Obsess Over the MAIN
11. Get Out If You’re Not Happy

The site does provide a mild warning, but they failed to list all of the potential pitfalls to slithering on your belly as a side chick. What they don’t explain is the self-worth, esteem, dignity and respect that you have to sacrifice running behind some dude who is most likely sleeping with his main chick, you, and several other females.

You’re busy chasing down someone else’s leftovers because you didn’t get enough love and confirmation as a child. Well you aren’t going to get it as a side chick either. Go get some counseling for your daddy issues before you crash and burn, and/or get physically beat down by that guy’s girlfriend/wife. 👊🏾😖

Side chicks are either content getting scraps or dumb enough to think those scraps will add up to something magical—not realizing that the same scandalous things he’s doing to his Main chick, are the same things (or worse) that he’s going to do to the side chick if she does ever replace the Main chick. Men don’t reinvent themselves in relationships, they recycle what worked and revamp what didn’t, and then test it out on the next woman. So silly rabbit, you’re about to get a huge dose of the last load of poop he tried shoveling down the mouth of his last woman.

And the guys are dumb enough to think the side chick is oh so “extra special“, much more special than his girlfriend/wife…”oh look how she gets all dressed up for me, how attentive she is, she’s much more adventurous than my girlfriend/wife, she laughs at my jokes, she gives me space, she’s so easy going, she always takes my calls, she doesn’t expect anything from me, she makes me feel like a man, she’s only sleeping with me, she strokes my ego“–nope you idiot, she’s following the Side Chicks Handbook on how to get hers and play you at the same time–and if you are ever dumb enough to make her your Main chick, she’s going to make your life a living hell.

I’m not sure what’s worse, the women involved in creating this 11-step list, or the women who rush to read and follow the instructions. I took snapshots of each step and put them into a slideshow. I decided to add some appropriate music to entertain you, because you definitely need to be entertained while reading this comic strip. Check out this masterpiece for yourself and laugh aloud at all of the male and female dummies out there getting caught up in this karmic cyclone…

Dear Chump Lady, Am I an insensitive jerk because my husband wants to date?

Dear Chump Lady, Am I being unreasonable for having a problem with my husband’s ongoing relationship with a woman he tried unsuccessfully to seduce? One night about a year ago, we both got home from our respective jobs and my husband burst into tears. I’m talking, deep, rasping sobs. With his head on my lap…

http://chumplady.com/2014/11/dear-chump-lady-wants-date-co-worker-front/

Is “True Tori” a Train-wreck or Beneficial?

So those of you who don’t know about Tori Spelling, former 90210 original cast member and daughter of the late and legendary Aaron Spelling, she is currently airing out the details and tragic failings of her marriage on a “reality” TV show called “True Tori“.

Let me give you a quick backstory.

See Tori’s husband Dean cheated on her after cheating on and leaving his first wife years ago for Tori. It seems that Tori’s biggest marital fear has come true and now she’s devastated that she has to face a worse fate than his first wife, so she’s sharing all or scripted parts of her life with the world to watch, scrutinize, and comment on each week.

I guess a tell-all book wouldn’t have been sufficient, and I’m not sure how this show will fix her marriage now that Dean has publicly been outed as Satan’s seed. So either way this is just a raggedy situation all around.

Let’s keep things real shall we? Not to be insensitive, but Tori wasn’t concerned about Dean’s first wife, Eustace, when she helped herself to Dean, and destroyed their marriage. But Tori actually wants Eustace to now feel sorry and cheerlead for her. She wants Eustace to explain to her why she also wasn’t enough for Dean, and why he would leave Eustace for her and marry her, just to do to her what he did to Eustace. She wants Eustace to relive her pain and agony for the entire world to see and feel.

Yep, Eustace appeared on the show sharing her experiences and opening her heart to Tori and Dean’s narcissism. I feel bad for Eustace, but proud of her strength because she didn’t toss all of her dignity out of the window like some of us when we’re cheated on and don’t see a backup plan to chasing behind someone who clearly doesn’t love and want a monogamous relationship with us.

Well a Chump Lady reader and viewer of “True Tori” wrote to Chump Lady and shared the two sides of the “True Tori” coin. Read what was said and Chump Lady’s response. Then share your thoughts.

Is “True Tori” showing the ugly and very real side of infidelity, and the need for accountability? Or is it just some scripted chance to ruffle feathers while making a crap-load of money, at the expense of the families involved? I mean, we are talking about two actors on a “reality” show.

Sources:
Chump Lady.
http://chumplady.com/2014/10/dear-chump-lady-is-true-tori-a-good-thing/

True Tori. http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/true-tori

Copyright 2014. Natasha Foreman Bryant. The Paradigm Life. All Rights Reserved.

Are You a Chump? Unfortunately, I Am But I’m Working on it

So most of you know how I feel about liars and cheaters. I’m one of those people who would rather sit next to an ax murderer who admitted to their crime, than spend any time with a liar or cheater (which they are oddly one in the same). At least the ax murderer is honest.

Just like the white supremacist who proudly tells me to my face that he hates me because of my color and race, I’m more accepting of that person, than the closet racist who smiles in my face, shakes my hand, but in the dark he can’t stand me and let’s his compadres know how disgusted he was having to engage with me—but yet he never says a word to me.

Hypocrite. Liar. Fraud. Coward.

That’s just how I feel. Be honest. The truth will always set you free. It may not feel good but at least you will be free and authentic.

I shared some time ago some hilarious, yet serious posts from the Chump Lady blog that I ran across. Being that I’ve been cheated on more times than I would care to admit, I had to admit that I’m what Chump Lady calls a “chump”.

Cheaters see, smell, and hear me years in advance of meeting me. That’s how it feels. They just sit back and wait to pounce. They want to see if they can actively pursue, capture, break, tame, and train me to be their chump. They want to see if they can break my rebel spirit and make me surrender to being ignorantly loyal to them while they betray me repeatedly with anything and everything that has a pulse.

What’s sad is, as a chump, I never learned the lesson to never ever ever tell your status as a chump and how you were chumped. All that does it give the cheater intel into how to break you down and make you their doormat. Every person who cheated on me used some of the same sociopathic moves of the cheater before them, how? Because I, the chump, shared the painful memories with them, and they said to themselves, “oh okay perfect, I will just do the exact same thing and maybe put a slight twist on it so that I can get the desired outcome“. So they do and I get hog-tied to a narcissistic-jerk-cheater, and then I fight to break the bond and run far, far away and never look back.

So it is refreshing to find a website that helps chumps reclaim their lives, address their chump issues, and work to no longer be chumps. This website helps you get through your stages of grief and healing because it’s filled with people who have walked in your shoes, and trust me, your story is not uniquely yours, you will be surprised how many people have gone through the same or similar experience and been told the same rotten garbage lies from their cheater. This site lets you know that you are not alone!

It feels good to hear from Chump Lady, a person who has been-there-done-that and got the chump awards to prove it, share her experiences and how she has gone through the healing stages and continues to work on herself with her new (also a chump) husband of several years. Chump Lady shares raw insights into the chump, cheater, and the other women/men that the cheater has been involved with. She breaks down the lies, truth, humor, as well as the idiotic, selfish, and narcissistic nature of the cheater and the ones they cheated with (who knew about you the entire time or most of it).

She also helps you through the journey after you have been freed from bondage and are trying to start anew with a new person. She wants to make sure that you’re not hypersensitive and quick to label every word and action of your new love as a potential cheat-signal, but that you are mindful and aware of the signs of cheating and symptoms of being a chump.

As a chump you feel stupid for being a chump, but you feel smarter and more empowered for finding this site and learning from Chump Lady and other fellow chumps from around the world.

If you aren’t sure if you’re a chump then visit Chump Lady. If you aren’t sure what to do once you realize that you are a chump (and possibly a habitual chump), then check out Chump Lady.

When you have been lied to, cheated on, and told that “it’s just your imagination”, “it’s all in your head”, “you’re just being insecure and jealous”, “you’re just reaching”, “you’re just trying to sabotage a good thing”, “maybe it’s you that’s cheating and you’re trying to deflect onto me”, “if you spent more time doing XYZ instead of playing investigator, maybe our relationship would be stronger“, that “it’s your fault“, or that “it’s not what you think“, their lover “always speaks highly of you, how could you say those awful things about them“, that their lover is “just a friend“, “I’m not cheating“, “this isn’t adultery“, “why are you snooping?”, “if you go digging, you will find something“, and other narcissistic ‘lines of crap’—all of which I have heard plenty of times, then you need to spend some quality time with Chump Lady, she will get you straight and on your way to a joy-filled, cheater-free life. I wish this site was around years ago, it would have saved me a lot of time, grief, painful lessons, yo-yo dieting, and a great deal more.

I share this with all of the chumps in the world. Those who know and those who aren’t sure. Chump Lady is free, raw, and uncensored group counseling for new, old, and recovering chumps. I hope it helps you in some way.

Signed,

A Chump

Copyright 2014. Natasha Foreman Bryant. Paradigm Life. All Rights Reserved

If You’re Really Sorry…

I read this blog post by Chump Lady and laughed so hard that it took me awhile before I could stop and craft a post of my very own. It is a well-written and very colorful, let’s say, viewpoint that I just felt moved to share with all of you. If you want the chance to chuckle or say, “Amen” then here’s the article for you! Okay I think I will check out the rest of her site so that I can see what else I can gasp over. Here’s to some honest, in-your-face-telling-it-like-it-is writing!

~Natasha

 

Source:

http://chumplady.com/2013/02/if-youre-really-sorry-cheaters-let-me-help-you/