Bad Girls, More Like Hurt Girls: Woman Up!

By Natasha Foreman Bryant
 I admit that around 2006-2007 I watched the earlier seasons of the Bad Girls Club. I wanted to know what Oxygen was bringing to the table, so-to-speak, and what made these young females so “Bad”. I soon discovered that droves of females claiming to be real women, were lining up to join this show to prove how devious, violent, ruthless, and spiteful they were. They wanted to prove to themselves that they were the hottest, sexiest female on the show, and the one who could curse the most and the loudest, while pretending that they really wanted to fight one or more of the other cast members.
 Yeah I got bored of it quickly because I know that the women who aren’t to be messed with don’t go around advertising it for the world, or tooting their own horn. They just confidently sit back and relax.
 Little girls throw temper tantrums, play childish games, and do petty things. This is what I saw on the Bad Girls Club, and this is what I saw when I decided to check on the show the other day (now in it’s 11th season). It’s disappointing to see these girls, obviously in pain, obviously battling some childhood or early adulthood trauma, taking out their pain and frustration on others.
 Someone let them down early on in their life. Someone didn’t give them a healthy dose of love, attention, affection, and structure growing up. Someone didn’t teach them how to be ladies and mature women. Maybe there are daddy issues, mommy issues, or both. Whatever the problem it runs deep, and when not properly redirected, hurt people will ultimately hurt people.
 I always wonder if the cast members from all eleven seasons look back at the episodes they starred in and really reflect upon how they were portrayed, how they acted, and the image that they have left in the minds of their viewers—and the young girls that I’m sure tune in regularly.
 The episode that I have shared at the end of this post is a small reflection of what Bad Girls Club has recycled and evolved into after 11 seasons. I tell those so-called “bad girls” and those who walk around thinking they are “bad” to woman up! Your attitude and false image won’t get you far in life. The high you feel tearing others down will still leave you feeling lonely when the cameras aren’t on you, or when your entourage isn’t hanging around egging you on.
 Copyright 2013. Natasha Foreman Bryant. All Rights Reserved.

>Sisterhood: Overcoming Stereotypes


Yesterday I attended a lovely brunch at Sun In My Belly in Decatur, Georgia with six other women- Black women- strong, educated, intelligent, doing-their-thing women! We meet once per month for brunch and have a blast eating, laughing, catching up, and sharing the latest happenings in our lives. Most of us met online through Twitter, and with the suggestion of my friend of 20 years, Tiffany Bolen, we agreed to meet up two months ago for our first brunch. We all met initially with a bit of hesitation. Could a group of Black women who only really interacted online through Twitter, randomly a few hours per day, actually come together and have a wonderful experience? How would our personalities mesh? Would this face-to-face put a strain on our pleasantries online?

Our first experience was incredible. It was as though we had known each other for years. We quickly came together as a group and coined ourselves the “Twitter Brunch Crew”. We’re all in our mid-20s to mid-30s, single, and enjoying life. Our ‘crew’ is made up of writers and journalists, bloggers, stylists, and entertainment and business professionals. We are women with a purpose; women on a mission to surpass our dreams in a major way; women that should not be underestimated or taken for granted. We all are passionate about our lives, our careers, and our future. We come in different heights, shapes, sizes, and shades; with different hair lengths, colors, and degrees of thickness- some straight and some curly. We all are beautiful and love the skin we’re in!

We have come together and lovingly broke a stereotype about Black women. Black women have been labeled as difficult, catty, and too self-absorbed to get along with another woman. We’re known for our eye and neck rolling, lip-smacking, and hand clapping- all signs that we’re annoyed and about to blow a ‘gasket’. People don’t see us and see the potential to come together, spend hours laughing and uplifting each other; hugging and taking pictures; planning to attend events or take trips together. 

Nope, we’re supposed to be eye-balling the next ‘sista-girl’ and saying, “hmmm and who does she think she is?” We’re supposed to be sitting back counting all the ways we’re better than the next woman. We’re supposed to be wondering if and when this ‘chick’ is going to try to get her claws into ‘our man’. We’re supposed to be over-analyzing every little thing we can discover about another sista so we can feel better about ourselves. We’re supposed to be fighting and clamoring to get past each other so we can rope one of those few eligible Black men out there. We’re supposed to be hating on each other, not sharing love and respect for our fellow sistas.   

Our Twitter Brunch Crew has shattered that Black Chick Stereotype. We welcome other drama-free, love-the-skin-you’re-in sista-girls to join us as we unite and build each other up- instead of tearing each other down. If you’re on Twitter, live in the Metro Atlanta area (or will be visiting soon) and want to join us one Saturday or Sunday for brunch- follow me:

Sistas Unite!

Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.