Quote of The Day: Some People Are Like Clouds

I heard this quote on July 1st and it made me laugh. It’s true, in my opinion. Some people are just like clouds. They come in and cast a shadow over you, change the energy around you, cause uneasiness within you. But then when they leave–oh wow, everything seemingly regains light and life. There is indeed a shift when they arrive and when they leave.

Here’s the trick: identifying the ‘clouds’ in your world and then making the decision to either limit your contact with them or steer clear altogether.

We do have choices.

Even if one or more of the ‘clouds’ are related to you, and some of you may not want to admit it—but they are in your life, seemingly waiting to stir up a jaw-dropping storm just because they can—but you do have a choice as to how much time and energy that you invest in that person. Just as you have a choice with deciding the time and energy you invest in every person that you encounter.

You also have a choice as to how you respond to their presence.

You don’t have to give in to the pressure to feel negatively about your interaction with this ‘cloud’. You can choose whether to open the floodgates of toxic waters or to relish the sweet moments that you were enjoying before the ‘cloud’ appeared. I’m beginning to learn how to do the latter. It’s better for the mind, heart, body, spirit, and soul. It truly is.

Why on earth would I help a cloud rain upon me?

Grab an umbrella, poncho or rain coat, a hefty pair of rain boots, and get to splashing. Splash until the rain stops and the cloud clears. Don’t derail your day. Don’t be drained of the light that you were carrying around. Push past it and know that soon, just like all clouds, this one will be sliding off away from you.

Have fun with the smile that grows on your face as you think about this truth. The ‘cloud’ will wonder why it’s planted there all big and bold. Smile bigger.

If the ‘cloud’ is leaving, to never return, then smile bigger. Smile like the Kool-aid man in the commercials we loved years ago.

Your day and all days after will be brighter because that ‘cloud’ won’t be a part of it.

Now smile!

~Natasha

When a Woman Loves a Man

When a woman says how deeply she loves a man, how she feels and believes God’s intent concerning this man in her life, it speaks volumes about how much that man actually loves, and shows her love in return, than does her declaration.

It is not her input into that relationship that she is ecstatic about. It is that man’s input and the resulting output that has her on a spiritual high. It’s his care, concern, support, honor, and view of her privately and publicly that she passionately thrives upon. It’s his loving and valuing of her as he loves and values his own life and body, that’s what she’s feeling and expressing.

This is the 1 Corinthians kind of love so many of us long for.

We don’t see it much nowadays because people are too consumed with ego and all things ‘self’. It’s a gift that should never be discarded because it doesn’t come as frequently as we would think. Maybe twice, but probably only once.

Consider that.

~Natasha Foreman Bryant

Quote of the Day: Male-Female Love & Relationships

“The greatest test of godliness in life as a man is whether you learn to serve your woman to a level that she is loved, secure and nurtured so she becomes all that God designed her to be.” – Dwight Hill

Thanks Eric Knoff for sharing this awesome quote on your blog. I want to be all that God has designed me to be. Each day I open myself to all of the possibilities that await me, and all of the ways that I can best be of service. ~Natasha

Copyright 2013. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved.

Men Can Soon Experience Motherhood in a Unique Way

Ladies, wouldn’t it be nice to share every aspect of your pregnancy experience with your husband/boyfriend? Men, aren’t you interested in connecting with the mother of your child on a unique level where you can feel the discomfort, weight gain, imbalance,  joint pressure, fetal kicks, etc? Now it’s possible with Takayuki Kosaka’s “Mommy Tummy” pregnancy suit. Yes, you read that right.

The suit was designed at the Kanagawa Institute of Technology (KAIT) in Atsugi, Japan, and some says it resembles a bullet proof vest or the heavy vest that is used when you have dental X-rays.  It even has a bladder in the belly that fills up with water, simulating the growth and average weight of Japanese babies. Similar pockets in the chest expand to simulate breasts filling with milk, and yes, there is simulated technology in the stomach that produce the feeling of a kicking baby (which can be calmed by gently rubbing the stomach).

This is definitely an advancement in technology from earlier models by other designers who merely replicated the increasing weight gain mothers undergo. This suit goes for the gusto, and they hope to eventually create a remote device that will allow men to feel the baby kick at the same time mommy does. Isn’t that a cool concept?

Now all they need is to develop a way to share with men the feelings of nausea, those crazy cravings like sardines and peanut butter, starch and chalk, and what’s a pregnancy suit without experiencing the big one…labor?!? To seal the deal, if men can begin to empathize with pregnant women and the ups and downs of carrying one or more babies at one time in a compact space that keeps stretching until it feels like there’s no more room to grow, then those nine months probably wouldn’t feel as bad…probably!

Check out the full story and see pictures of the “Mommy Tummy” for yourself:  http://www.livescience.com/15526-mommy-suit-pregnancy-siggraph-2011.html

 

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. Paradigm Life.

 

 

 

A Focus on Dignity and Non-Violence at Coretta Scott King Young Women’s Leadership Academy

By Natasha L. Foreman, MBA

On April 15th I was honored to lead a Dignity Day session as a HOPE Corp Volunteer through Operation HOPE (HOPE) at the Coretta Scott King Young Women’s Leadership Academy (CSKYWLA) in Atlanta.

What is amazing is how the majority of this class of ninth graders were initially completely turned off to the idea of having to listen to yet another speaker that day as they were just returning to their classroom from an assembly that focused on the theme of 100 days of Non-Violence…so they were shifty and closed off. But about 15 minutes into our conversation some of the girls who had crossed arms were soon raising their hands and answering questions.

I started off by talking about the concept of legacy and that that day we were laying the foundation and road map for them to create and eventually leave behind a strong, dignified legacy. I had them define the term legacy in their own words and then share some of their dreams, goals and aspirations. Then as our conversation deepened I shared with them the history of how HOPE was founded, the services and programs that HOPE offers, and I started to weave a story where life included them and their legacy.

I think helping them share the names of empowered and dignified women they see in their family, community, and elsewhere who had similar or worse lives growing up helped them to see that they too could be those same type of women- that they are these women but in-training and with the potential to do more and help more in the long run because they are being equipped with the tools at a young age; and our adversity isn’t an excuse to let life pass us by or a crutch to coast through life doing and expecting the bare minimum, but a reason and motivation to excel and succeed.

These young ladies were shocked to hear that the civil rights movement as it pertained to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr and Ambassador Andrew Young was sparked, motivated, and pushed along due to their wives Coretta Scott King and Jean Childs Young- two women who endured and overcame adversity and strife. Hearing this information made many of these girls sit up straight in their chairs and listen intently.

                        

When I spoke about not holding grudges, and that forgiving people is not to benefit the person they were forgiving but to help themselves heal, grow, and overcome- some girls shifted in their seats their seats, a few others rolled their eyes in disbelief; but then when I mentioned Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Iyanla Vandzant and their ability to forgive their abusers and using strife as a launching pad towards success- some of the girls started naming other people like Fantasia and Tyler Perry who was sexually and physically abused and how he also overcame and pushed himself to success.

We discussed the concept of family and that it isn’t just our immediate family we need to be concerned about but our neighborhoods, cities, state, our country, and our global family. Because I know that girls can be equally as cutthroat as boys, I made sure that we had a heart-to-heart chat about trash-talking and “clowning” people and how although initially it can be lighthearted and funny, it can also be crippling and tear apart our “extended” family.

We discussed being relevant not only in this country but globally, and that true wealth (spiritual, financial, etc) can only be maintained long term by leading a dignified life, not by living up to the negative stereotypes that are projected globally about Black females. We discussed self-empowerment and not waiting on the government or specific programs to help us, that we have to help ourselves. That we shouldn’t be waiting for someone else to pick up trash on our sidewalks- we should pick it up ourselves.

We shouldn’t be waiting for someone else to cover the graffiti on our walls and buildings- we should paint over it ourselves; we shouldn’t wait for someone else to beautify our streets and parks with trees and flowers- we should plant them ourselves. I explained that they should be volunteering in their community through church or some other organization taking pride in restoring, building, maintaining, and beautifying their neighborhoods.

We had a pretty good time. We laughed and talked about boys and expectations of being respected by males and all people when you carry yourself with respect and dignity. We discussed the language of money and being financially literate, and how this literacy will empower them. It was refreshing to see that many of them have savings accounts and that two of the students had traveled abroad- one to London and the other to the Bahamas. Two young passport carriers living in an underserved and underrepresented area of Atlanta- doesn’t that give you hope? It gives me hope and encourages me to continue my work in the community, and my work through Operation HOPE.

I hope more men and women find it in their hearts to invest one hour of their time at least once per month to volunteer in a church, in a class room, or in a youth center through Operation HOPE. One person can make a difference!

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
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>Incredible Response to my Feb 8th Love and Life Thought of the Day

>I have already published the comment posted below, which can be viewed immediately after my February 8th post on Love and Life Thought of the Day- but I wanted to share it with all of my readers and thank my friend and classmate Steve Woodsmall for sharing it with me. We all need words of encouragement!


Thanks Steve!






1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is won’t make you cry. 


2. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. 


3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart. 


4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’ t have them 


5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 


6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 


7. Don’t waste your time on someone, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you. 


8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 


9. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 


10. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around. 


11. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you. 


12. Don’t try so hard–the best things come when you least expect them to. 


From Steve W.

>Natasha’s Love and Life Thought of the Day for 2.8.11

>By Natasha L. Foreman, MBA

Some of us strive for excellence only in our personal lives content with the belief that at least there we have some control, since we have none at out Just-Over-Broke Situations. Then there are those of us who are more focused on prosperous careers and we could care less if we have a hodge-podge relationship, dating a handful of people (and probably being dishonest to all of them), or running through life single and alone.

I believe that you can be successful in both love/family and career.

What’s the sense in having a prosperous career and you have no one worthy to share your accomplishments and setbacks with, how is that a successful life?

I strive for excellence in every aspect of my life and I truly believe that I can have both a successful personal life and career as long as there are two things constantly present that I’m focused on: God, and that I BELIEVE even when I’m scared, and especially when no one else does (or they are too self-absorbed to care).

I believe that I can be the wife who cooks, cleans, stays up late helping my husband meet deadlines or work through issues; the wife who loves him to the level (and intensity) that makes others jealous; that I can be the mother that other children wish were theirs (and my children soak it up); that I can have the loving, respectful, supportive husband, and the well-mannered, giving, caring, highly intelligent and gifted children- all nestled in our warm, inviting and beautiful home (with a well-manicured lawn, my Land Rover LR4, and a happy dog). Yes, I believe this with every fiber of my body.

At the same time I believe that I can have that demanding yet rewarding career doing all of the things that I love doing, and getting paid handsomely. I also believe that I can do all of this and still serve the least of God’s children around the world…

…while still having precious alone time to do whatever I want to do for me- even if it’s a two-hour bath with tons of candles surrounding the tub, or taking the time to read and reflect on the Word!

It all requires balance. It requires believing in myself and believing that I’m NOT doing this alone. There is a greater power out there- God- helping me along the way- opening doors, windows, vents, and more so that I can walk, jump, crawl, or wiggle inside and make a difference in my life and the lives of others.

We must be about action. There is no limit to what we can or can’t do. We can either make things happen and DO something, or we can spend our lives coasting by TALKING about our dreams. You can find your calling at any age between 20 and 90, but it is up to you whether you do what you are called to do or waste the time making excuses why mediocrity is the best you can produce.

We must remember that there IS a time limit on life; tomorrow is not promised- so we have to seize the moment and learn each day to LIVE OUR DREAMS!

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
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>Going Against the Grain: My Pre-Marital Insight- Round 1

>I could possibly step on quite a few toes with this piece, but when have I ever truly been a status quo type of person? I will however spare many of you the pain and agony of a long, drawn-out analysis or reflection on love, relationships, and marriage and cut straight to the chase in this quick two-part series that will address a taboo subject that I feel brave enough to tackle. Let me see that smile!

I have watched many relationships fall apart during the dating and engagement stages and several fall apart through divorce. There are numerous reasons for these break-ups, but a great deal of issues resulted from how money and finances played a role in these relationships. Whether one half of the couple was well-off financially and the other one was living just-over-broke (and sucking the life out of their significant other’s bank account); both were well-off but one mismanaged their funds (or dictated how they would be managed); or both were broker than a bad joke and fought over how they would make a dollar out of fifteen cents- the case is that money became an issue.

I am a firm believer in prenuptial agreements (prenup). Oh gosh did I just cuss?

I know a lot of women who look at me like I just called them some scandalous names, while I also have entered some heated debates in previous relationships with men who could not fathom why I wanted a prenup before marrying them. It is simply this:

If you truly are marrying out of love, not convenience; love not status; love not desperation; love not out of default; love and not because of family and societal pressures; truly because you love and want to spend the rest of your life with this other person- then why not remove the financial aspect out of the equation upfront? One or both of you worked long and hard to attain a level of financial satisfaction and you most likely achieved this before you fell so madly in love with the person you hope to call your spouse one day. So why should this person be granted the right to take upwards of 50% of your personally-acquired wealth as their own simply because they are your husband or wife?

What if right now you don’t have a clue as to how you will pay your Internet Service Provider this month so that you can continue reading my blog posts, but you have aspirations of wealth-building- shouldn’t you consider this and the realities that the person you love today may despise you at some point during your marriage?

I’m a sappy romantic, while at the same time a true-blue realist. For me the reality is clear that if I were to ever become engaged again, I would want a prenup drafted, signed, and the ink dry before we say “I do”. I think that people don’t understand the flexibility and freedom that prenups provide. Yes, it should require lawyer-participation (so that it is legally binding) which means spending some money, but I would rather we shell out several hundred dollars upfront, than several thousands or more in divorce proceedings.

Some people think that prenups say, “you leave with nothing if we divorce”. This simply is not true. Granted, it could say that- but it can also say so much more. Your agreement can be outlined to say a number of things and address all types of scenarios such as how the two of you will handle any future children that you have together, any children that you currently parent as a couple. It can say how the two of you will handle the future acquisition and possible separation of community property; it can say almost anything.

You can have the agreement outline how you will share or maintain separate bank accounts, how you will share a pet, or who gets the pet upon dissolution of marriage. We know we have all heard of couples fighting over family pets- don’t act like you wouldn’t go off if the person you love later says, “and I’m taking Dino with me”. Do you really want the china her parents gave you as a wedding shower gift? Do you really want his golf clubs or his boat? Come on now, you don’t golf and you get motion-sickness, you only want these things out of spite!

A prenup is also an agreement that can be modified post-nuptially if the two of you see fit. Are you rolling your eyes at me right now? Am I kicking up too much dust for you to handle? Well, tomorrow let’s kick up some more as we return for part two of this two-part series!

See ya then. I look forward to your thoughts, reactions, comments, and respectful rantings!

Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
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>Natasha’s LOVE Thought of the Day 10.31.10

>

LOVE says “let’s not fight over this”
LOVE says “let go and let God”
LOVE says “let’s make love”
LOVE doesn’t want to be lost in fear

We lose when we allow time to pass and we’re not spending it with the one we love; doing the things we enjoy and noticing God’s wonders around us.

We lose when we play games with other people’s hearts; when we won’t commit to just loving one person- having one monogamous relationship. 

We lose when we bring baby after baby into this world with multiple co-parents but we can never fully give as a complete unit; because our time is spread thin and is no longer ours to give.

We lose when we hold grudges and can’t forgive; when we punish those who hurt us by withholding love and affection. 

We lose when we don’t see ourselves and God in that other person, and when we don’t show that loving reflection in return.

How many of us lost hours and days due to an argument? If you passed away right now would that argument still matter? Would your ‘point’ still matter? Or would reclaiming that time be your most truest desire?

Think of the stories we have heard about over time and most recently about a widow, parent, or child who didn’t get the chance to say, “I love you” one last time. 

People are dying around the world over REAL issues; petty arguments trying to prove a point with a loved one aren’t worth losing precious time. We can’t get back that time. 

I don’t know about you but I want to spend my waking moments loving, being loved, and making love. I then want to spend my moments while sleeping reflecting on that love, so that my last day here on Earth- the last breath I take I can say loud and clear without hesitation that, “I KNOW LOVE!”

Take these next few moments and decide if you’re willing to waste another second without loving that person you know has your heart. Decide if being selfish or stubborn are worth not holding them in a deep embrace, staring into each other’s eyes, and passionately exchanging and blending kisses- expressing your love.

Let’s express and give more selfless love!

                          -Natasha L. Foreman



Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved. 
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>Screening of Prospective Black Husbands: The No-Win Negotiation Table

>So a guy I know, posted this video/movie from YouTube on Facebook and I have to admit that it is beyond hilarious and sad at the same time. While I laughed, I also felt uncomfortable because I know that this has been the problem with me, friends, relatives, associates, and complete strangers for quite some time. 

We’re taught to set high standards for ourselves and for those that enter our lives, but what we overlook is that these lists of prerequisites are oftentimes too long, too complicated, and highly illogical. We play up our lists with these romantic undertones, while at the same time we lace them with arsenic that destroys any chance of us not only finding these men, keeping these men, but being happily in love with them for the long-term…and having this love reciprocated. 

We’ve stepped our game up in our educational and career pursuits, but then dumbed ourselves down with superficiality. We’ve ignored our personal list of flaws that make us undesirable. We want to be selective as to which of God’s commands and examples we want to follow, not wanting to “honor and obey”- wanting to call ourselves ‘virtuous’, but living the life as anything but the proverbial virtuous woman! We are determined to call ourselves ‘independent’- yet we want a man to basically take care of us. We want his money to be our money, and our money to be…our money. We want to question what he does, when he does it, and who he’s doing it with- but we refuse to “answer to him”. Our children together, that he helped in conceiving, somehow become “my children” because we spend more time with them than he does (even though the nanny most likely spends more time with them than anyone). 

We want our husbands to bring in the six and seven figure loaves of bread, keep us in the latest fashions and cars, splurge on us, but we want him to be home with us the majority of the time, that doesn’t make sense! Make up your mind. Heck, when I look at this movie I’m no longer surprised that Black men are running scared, hiding away, doing dirt behind our backs, or now raising their standards to trump us and say, “now what are you bringing to the table Miss Independent?”

I’m no longer trying to be independent and I’m definitely not dependent. I’m interdependent. Refer to my earlier posts when I wrote the series on relationships, and the types we fall into. Independent means you stand on your own, don’t want or need help, and you’re closed off to the idea of a relationship being a true partnership- but with the man as the leader. Dependent means you want someone to take care of your every desire and whim, and you have no desire to handle any real responsibilities because you are the ‘queen’. It’s all about you and what you’re getting out of the exchange. Your husband becomes the daddy you used to have, or worse, the one you never had- so he’s getting added pressure to perform. 

Interdependence is the reality that sometimes you need to breathe, sometimes you need help and need to lean on someone (and they can do the same in return), but you can also carry your own weight in a relationship. An interdependent person is a giver, not a taker. They look for opportunities where both people can grow together as a team, they are the co-pilot, but not co-dependent. That’s me! I’m not going to say I want a husband, then treat him like a roommate. At the same time, I’m not going to dump all of my responsibilities on him either. He’s your husband, not your servant. My student loans are not his, so while we have a household budget, any additional income that I bring in must go towards paying off my debt, not adding to my wardrobe or taking a trip with my girls, and definitely not expecting him to pay them for me. Bring me a man that’s cool with that, and I will make him the happiest man alive! 

Let me also address one other thing…if you don’t want your man’s eyes and feet to wander to another bed then I’d suggest you handle your business whenever, wherever, and however you can…get over yourself and what you don’t like, and “won’t do” because there are thousands of women who would jump at the chance to get their nasty little claws wrapped around him, and what you “won’t do” they will, happily!

Watch this video and see for yourself. Be honest sistas…if this is you, keep it real with yourself and with these men or you will forever be miserable and lonely. Because even if you find someone who you think meets your long list of must-haves, you will never truly be satisfied, and most definitely, he won’t either!   

Hey, I’m just keeping it real, all of the time!

Natasha

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved. 
Rights exclude attached video footage.
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Source:
YouTube  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgyg8vEHraE