Natasha’s Thought of the Day: My Definition of a Coward

A coward is a hilarious yet pitiful sight to see and experience. A coward hides behind aliases, anonymity, avatars, masks, lies, and other people. A coward yells loudly behind mommy’s dress and daddy’s coat, but never stands out and speaks up for the world to see. A coward spits venom like a serpent but is too scared to face those they attack. A coward has little to no self-esteem, self-worth, dignity, or grace, so lacking a spine they sneak around trying to drag others to their level. A coward will hide behind a title but never live up to it. A coward is never dependable, reliable, or consistent…except in their cowardice. They simply exist, but never live, and even in their existence they don’t leave much of an impression.

I’m not too sure if I should feel sorry for the cowards of the world, sympathy, or nothing at all. They are a sad group of people. They can never stand on their own, they can never fight their own battles, they can never truly lead, they always make excuses for their inadequacies, and blame others for their shortcomings. Cowards are always the victim, always the damsel in distress, always the ones needing saving, always the ones complaining about what’s wrong and why they can’t do something. The words, ‘can’t’ and ‘impossible’ begin and end their sentences, and sometimes their days.

Cowards live for revenge, wanting to pay back those who hurt them, but they don’t have the courage to actually face this person head on. Cowards like to pick fights, but never stick around for combat, or they find a way for others to join the fight so their weaknesses are never revealed. They are the ones who spread rumors and cause drama, but in a sneaky, cleaver kind of way–that always make them look innocent. They pretend to be someone they aren’t because they don’t have the courage to be who they were created to be. They are weak-minded, weak physically, weak morally, and weak spiritually. They live in constant darkness; for only in light can one find true strength. It’s no wonder why cowards always prefer playing devil’s advocate, because for them it is too great a mountain to climb reaching up towards hope, possibility, and excellence, when they can use less effort kneeling down towards mediocrity.

I have encountered many cowards in my time, some as recently as today, and I am amazed at how much time they have on their hands to focus their energy on doing absolutely nothing of relevance in our world–except in their minds. It is pitiful that these insecure people spend so many hours of their day thinking about me, plotting and planning against me, and envious of what I have that they wish they had. We all have had our run-ins with cowards like this. See, cowards have plenty of time and energy to spread lies and hate, try to destroy other people’s reputations, families and businesses,  yet they don’t invest the time and energy to bring goodness and love into our world. They don’t have the time and energy to make a positive contribution to society, yet they can waste all of their resources trying to drain someone else and destroy their dreams. They don’t have the time and energy to build, create, innovate, inspire, embrace, uplift, and shine. Yet they have the time and energy to tear things apart, destroy, manipulate, deceive, and play childish games. They have time to send stupid messages and make phone calls to others hoping to make them feel as miserable as they do; post idiotic things on the Internet for even the tiniest bit of attention; make claims without supporting evidence; and just take up much-needed space in the world. They eventually leave this world as they entered it and lived it…clueless!

I have more respect for the person who tries and fails, than the one who never tries. I have more respect for the person with bumps, bruises, cuts and burns from falling down in life, because in their walk I see that they found a way to get back up. I have more respect for the person who comes to me directly, without masks, anonymity and code names, and just speaks their mind. I have more respect for the person who comes right out and confronts me with the goal to fight, than sucker-punch me in the dark. I have no respect for a person who isn’t brave enough to stand up and speak their mind. I say what I want to say, and clearly say my name when I’m speaking. I don’t post to my blogs or anywhere else as “anonymous” or with some made up alias, or using a picture not mine, because I have the courage to speak up, speak out, and back up what I say. My parents didn’t raise a punk, so I don’t cower over like one. I’m no bully and I won’t be bullied–never have and never will!

So I have one last thing to say to the cowards of the world…you can say what you want and do what you want, because just like your anonymity, you really don’t exist!

 

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

>You May Be Her Hero and She May Be Your Next Stalker: Part Two Of a Nightmare

>Good morning fellas! How did you sleep? Did you have nightmares of a woman diving through the front window of your home screaming your name? Did you dream of a woman wielding a large knife in your kitchen as you ran for your life?

Ah I see yesterday’s blog post got you thinking. Good. It’s about time your brain did the thinking for you! Are you ready to pick up where we left off and explore female stalkers and your potential for becoming the next stalking victim? Great let’s continue….

Not all movies are created just for entertainment purposes. Some shed light on and attempt to educate us about common issues in the world. If you choose to ignore the signs then that is your fault. Don’t then blame her or accuse her of being crazy. She showed you upfront that she had a ‘screw loose’ while you were too busy being a hero, and jumping for joy that you had a ‘fan’. Tom Cruise’s character, David Aames, in Vanilla Sky, was turned on by Julie Gianni’s stalker-like behavior in the beginning until it was too late and she drove them off a bridge at 80mph. It wasn’t that cute then was it?

Take your life seriously. Look at how you involve yourself with women, and ask yourself if she could possibly be reading more into your ‘arrangement’ than what you expressed. According to Steve Thompson a Yahoo writer, “Some women can be deluded into thinking that their victims are actually in love with them, where male stalkers are more likely not to care whether or not their affections are returned.” Do you remember Kathy Bates in the movie Misery? Nuff said.

So, if you are not crystal clear and repetitious (but no more than two times- after that walk away) in your intent with this female, then you are bound to have drama. If you don’t clearly state at least two or all of the following, you face a world of trouble:

“We are not a couple and I don’t want a committed and monogamous relationship with you”


“I am involved with other women that I see and spend time with frequently”


“Since I am involved with other women I expect you to respect me and them by not questioning me, or creating any drama if you happen to see us somewhere”


“You and I are together just to have fun and have sex”


“Unless you are invited you are not to come to my home or any event I’m hosting”


“No you can’t meet my friends, family, or associates”


“Our time together is not long-term, we are just hanging out temporarily”


“I don’t want children with you and I don’t intend to live with you or marry you”

You may think this is harsh, but trust me when I say that more women go ‘off’ when they feel misled and manipulated. If you feel the need to have a superficial, sexual relationship with a woman then you need to understand the risks that come with that reward. Let’s stop playing games with the definition of sex, sexual relations, and intimacy- we all know what they mean, if not the crazed woman will remind you!            

For women sex is a HUGE deal. No matter what a woman says, sex is a major element in our lives. We either see it on a spiritual level, an empowering and liberating one, or a combination of the two. Sex connects a woman to a man on a deep level, especially if she was taught to value her body and who she shared it with. Sex for many men is like wearing clothes, you can easily get something new. Sex for many women is a rite of passage, it tugs on her maternal strings, it rings her matrimonial ‘bell’- so how do you think it is for a woman who becomes obsessed and resorts to stalking?

According to Steve Thompson’s article women are sneakier stalkers than men, because of their smaller stature they often hide in the shadows (and bushes) unlike their male counterparts who make their presence known to the person they are stalking. So if you want to be all willy nilly and think you’re ‘the man’ because you have some woman hanging on your every word and the waist of your pants, beware…she could be the one who busts the windows out of your car, slashes your tires, throws battery acid on your cherished possessions, shreds your clothes, sends inappropriate pictures and correspondence that you sent her to almost everyone you know in a mass email, calls your mom and goes on a tirade about the type of son she raised, and makes your life a living hell.

Let me share one more vital piece of information- no matter what she says, no matter how good it feels or looks- always always always wear a condom, your own condom (not one she gives you), never get caught slipping without one, and always discard it where she can’t access it- or you could fall victim to ‘baby mama drama’ in the worst way! Trust me, I have seen it happen on several occasions and it is an ugly sight. An obsessed woman will do anything to trap and keep you, so planning a pregnancy is right up her alley.

This is the advice I would give my own son if I had one.

Stalking is a mental health issue and the only way to combat it without medical treatment is to be proactive in our relations with others. When we see the signs we need to address them immediately and when necessary, run away quick, fast and in a hurry! Fellas this is your lesson for the day. Do with it as you please, but don’t ever say I didn’t try to help you. Just as I share information to protect my fellow sister-girls, I too am concerned about your well-being. We’re all in this together. So feel free to share this message with all the men you know. Don’t think you can handle this alone. Don’t feel ashamed if you have a stalker and feel that it isn’t necessary to report her to the police, women understand this fear of embarrassment and will continue until faced with possible jail time or some other form of legal punishment. Steve Thompson’s article hits another note that might pull your ‘chords’:

“A female stalker is often catty and intelligent, and will spend her time thinking of ways to get what she wants, which is often her stalking target. If she thinks she is in love with you, for example, she might see your spouse as an obstacle between the two of you, and therefore will target your spouse with violence. Make sure you think of your family as well as yourself if you are ever in this situation.” Think of Glenn Close in the movie Fatal Attraction or Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle – do you remember how out of control those situations became?

Just because you are in control of your career, doesn’t mean that you can handle the beast called stalking. Stop lying to yourself. The truth will set you free and maybe you can avoid getting a restraining order!

Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
Entire contents of this article with the exception of images and references to outside articles are Copyright Protected by Natasha L. Foreman. paradigmlife.blogspot.com

Sources and Photo Credits:
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle-  dead-like-me.net
Swim Fan- tribute.ca
Misery- blogs.setonhill.edu
Fatal Attraction- guardian.co.uk
Restraining Order image- murderati.com
Steve Thompson (2008). How to Deal with a Female Stalker. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/507861/how_to_deal_with_a_female_stalker_pg2.html?cat=17

>You May Be Her Hero and She May Be Your Next Stalker

>Last Friday I watched the movie Vanilla Sky again after having seen it many years ago. I was relaxing on the airplane and wanted to see a thriller that would have me on the edge of my seat. My friend was next to me working like crazy and I knew there would be conflict if I broke our pact to not watch a new release without each other. Friends…don’t you love them? Okay I’ve clearly digressed…back toVanilla Sky- it confused me the first time I watched it because I was overanalyzing it; so this time I simply opened my eyes and let the movie reel me in to the twisted world of Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz’s characters, David Aames and Julie Gianni respectively.

There is a common theme in these psychological thrillers that many men fail to recognize, realize, and put in their back pocket for quick reference in the future- there is no man exempt from being stalked- especially not men of influence and affluence; for you your odds are even greater. If you are having a casual fling or affair with a woman, but you are not a ‘couple’ in any aspect of the term- you need to be cautious as to how much time and money you spend and how far you go with this delicate situation and fragile personality. Let me just say that you are certifiably out of your mind if you’re involved with an employee, co-worker, agent, representative, volunteer, or intern at your company (or toying with the idea). You are just waiting for the drama to begin- but if you walk away now maybe there is hope for you yet. Even flirting with someone nowadays could put you in the shoes of Idris Elba in the movie Obsessed, remember how Beyonce had to beat the mess out of that crazy woman?

I have a funny feeling as I type this that it would be best to split this article into another two-parter series because it’s about to be deep and heavy. So that is what we’re going to do….

Are you ready to find out if you’re involved with or in the cross hairs of a stalker or potential stalker? Here’s some tell-tale signs:

– She frequently tells you that her world is incomplete or unbearable without you


– You are her “hero”


– She is “your biggest fan”


– She compares and refers to you as a fictional superhero


– She goes out of her way to appear to be different than other women you dated


– She makes her presence felt when you’re in public- in an attempt to send the signal that you’re ‘off limits’

– You aren’t a couple, yet she refers to “we” and “us” frequently

– She exhibits childish behaviors and tendencies where you become ‘daddy’

– She shows up at your events uninvited

– She seems to always know where you are

– She knows more about you in two months than most friends of 1-2 years

– She knew a great deal about you before you met, or soon after meeting

– She is clingy and needs to be around and under you constantly


– She is constantly trying to form a deeper connection with you


– She spends a great deal of her day calling, texting, emailing, and IM’ing you


– She correlates her happiness with you to her well-being


– You are the center of her life

– She shows up to your house frequently unannounced and uninvited

– She tries to (and encourages) having unprotected sex with you

– She begins to dress and carry herself like women you are attracted to

– She joins groups and associations you are a member of

– She somehow suddenly enjoys all or most of your hobbies
– She tells you she thinks you are soul mates, that you were meant to be together


– She tells you that you’re her only real friend


– She tells you that you are the only family she has


– She plays mental games


– She claims to be out of town on a trip, when she is actually still in town


– She jokes around about hurting other women you associate with

– She seems to seek your approval and acceptance

– Her self-esteem is connected to how you view her

– She expects you to contact her more frequently

– She jokes about releasing your pictures and letters to the public

– She says she’s not ready for kids, but always talks about becoming a mother

– She is an emotional roller coaster


– She frequently recalls intimate moments with you like a fairy-tale


– She talks with great detail about a future with you as though you are a couple


– She speaks casually about having a family with you and being your wife


– She questions your whereabouts and who you associate with


– She tries to find ways to meet and get close to your friends and family


– She inserts herself into your personal and/or professional life

This list can go on for pages. These are just several warning signs of women who potentially could become your stalker, or who are already stalking you. This is serious, and should not be taken lightly. Many men have lost their freedom, their income, their lives, their limbs, and their peace of mind behind women they assumed were just infatuated with them; women they assumed knew their insignificant “role” or “position”- trust me you both are on totally different pages!

You may laugh but this is definitely not a joking matter.

This is not just lust, puppy love, a crush, or infatuation- this is clear stalker behavior and if you continue down this path you are doomed to experience her wrath at the highest level. Matter of fact, take a double-take with any woman over the age of 25…hmmm even 22, who makes reference to having a ‘crush’ on you- that’s not grown woman talk. Now that I’m thinking about the movie The Crush, you should also shudder if a teen girl says, “I have a crush on you”. Run far far away!

A woman claiming to have a crush on you exhibits characteristics of an incomplete life tied to daddy issues- just waiting to burst the seams. A personality such as this has an imagined sense of a connection with you, and feels entitled to a life with you. In her mind you are soul mates, and are to be together forever. She is not merely your fling, sex buddy, lover, or friend- in her mind she is yours and you are hers, you just haven’t realized it yet! I’m going to let you ponder this over night. I’m not trying to scare you- just enlighten you; open your eyes and make you see that some people are one french fry short of a Happy Meal and you have to be cautious and THINK before you speak or act, and consider the consequences! Consider getting out of the sticky web you wove or are weaving and start the new year drama-free!

Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Entire contents of this article with the exception of images and references to outside articles are Copyright Protected by Natasha L. Foreman. paradigmlife.blogspot.com

Photo credits:
Twitter stalker- zazzle.com
Obsessed: ontheflix.com
The Crush- thevine.com.au
Vanilla Sky- ew.com
I’m Not a Stalker- roadkilltshirts.com