“Frankie Leg”: A Fun Image of Grandmothers Shedding their Frail Stereotype, or is this Adding to a More Negative One?

 

I’m really not sure what to say about this video, its message, and the impact (if any). I also am not sure what it says overall about the people it will ultimately reflect upon and clump together into one classification. Is this a fun and possibly healthy image of grandmothers and grandfathers shedding and shaking away the frail stereotype normally associated with getting older? Or is this somehow only adding to the negative stereotypes about Black people?

I start thinking of the buffoonery we once used to fight so hard against, and I wonder if we really have gone full-circle and found ourselves smack-dab in the middle of where we once were; if we have grown to accept not only other nationalities laughing and mocking us, but also embracing it as a reality for ourselves–so we too take part in this…we too find it acceptable; so we laugh, dance, smile, shuck and jive, and roll around comfortably in mediocrity.

Are we really in that much pain that we would rather entertain ourselves in this manner than uplift ourselves out of our pit of shame and despair? What message are our children really getting? Where is our dignity? When is enough truly enough? I believe that music and dance is healthy, healing, and cleansing–but does the “Frankie Leg” fall into those categories?

I am still letting all of this soak into my mind (which may be dangerous). But let’s have a healthy conversation about it shall we?

 

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. The Paradigm Life. Paradigm Life. Rights Reserved.
Video provided by YouTube

>The Complexities of Relationships: Part Two

>Yesterday I posted part one of this series on relationships. The topic hit me and I felt it important to share because we are all supposed to strive to be better, do better, and live better lives on a daily basis. An acquaintance of mine said, “if you keep yourself in check then no one else has to”. So by sharing this tidbit of information I can ‘check’ myself and maybe you will humble yourself enough to do the same. So let’s pick up where I left off….

CONTROL, INSECURITY, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, EGO, PRIDE

Uh oh towards the end of my post yesterday did I touch on another sensitive term, insecurity? In our double-standard world only women are to be insecure and have low self-esteem. Yet any time a man feels the need to keep people around him constantly (entourage), attempt to make his woman jealous by giving out his number, constantly flirting, and having lunch or dinner with other women- he is insecure, and dare I say, has issues with his self-esteem, as he always feels the need to prove he “still has it”…here comes the ego! 

When a man finds it in himself to consistently make sly, negative remarks about the men who find his wife/girlfriend/lover attractive, possibly even making it his mission to confront the other men, he is insecure. The same is true of women who do these things. If your significant other does not respect you enough to respectfully and firmly push away the advances of other interested persons, then you need to be with someone else. You should not have to confront another person. Your issue is not with them, it’s with your significant other. No one should be playing these games. We’re called ‘grownups’ for a reason people. Let’s grow up! 

A person who is secure with “self” and has healthy self-esteem is comfortable alone, they don’t need others to validate them. They don’t need to always be around someone or be the life of the party all of the time. They also don’t need to play games. They love without always looking over their shoulder waiting for the other person to stab them in the back. They love without expecting anything in return. They freely practice the art of reciprocity. They don’t need to frequently or constantly tell their loved ones how much they have done for them or how much they spent on them. Relationships soon turn into conditional arenas when we start playing that game.

I gave back an expensive piece of jewelry and purse to a man who gave them as “gifts” but clearly attached conditions. In his twisted mind his wealth gave him certain rights when it came to other people, especially me if I was going to be his girlfriend, ‘woman’, or whatever title you want to use. In his mind he was doing me a favor, he was giving me something. Boy was he surprised at my reaction. No woman had ever given back a gift and walked away from him. That surely bruised his ego!

Several years ago I called off a wedding three months before we were supposed to say, “I do” because of similar reasons, a man thinking I was merely his trophy he could take off a shelf and show off when he wanted, then he could put back on the shelf when he wanted to run off and do his own thing. He felt that because of his fame and wealth in some way he owned me, I was his. I should feel lucky to have him, “do you know how many women want your position?” he would ask. He was sadly wrong about me! 

I did not blink when I handed back those items, nor did I have second thoughts about calling off my wedding. I walked away and never looked back. I cannot be bought or sold. I will not lose myself to any person, because I belong to and serve a higher being. I’m not angry, bitter, or sad…I’m simply content in my place and space, and I would rather be alone than lonely and a disappointment to God.    

Tomorrow I will continue with Part Three of this series. I look forward to your feedback…let’s continue a healthy dialogue! 

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.