“Frankie Leg”: A Fun Image of Grandmothers Shedding their Frail Stereotype, or is this Adding to a More Negative One?

 

I’m really not sure what to say about this video, its message, and the impact (if any). I also am not sure what it says overall about the people it will ultimately reflect upon and clump together into one classification. Is this a fun and possibly healthy image of grandmothers and grandfathers shedding and shaking away the frail stereotype normally associated with getting older? Or is this somehow only adding to the negative stereotypes about Black people?

I start thinking of the buffoonery we once used to fight so hard against, and I wonder if we really have gone full-circle and found ourselves smack-dab in the middle of where we once were; if we have grown to accept not only other nationalities laughing and mocking us, but also embracing it as a reality for ourselves–so we too take part in this…we too find it acceptable; so we laugh, dance, smile, shuck and jive, and roll around comfortably in mediocrity.

Are we really in that much pain that we would rather entertain ourselves in this manner than uplift ourselves out of our pit of shame and despair? What message are our children really getting? Where is our dignity? When is enough truly enough? I believe that music and dance is healthy, healing, and cleansing–but does the “Frankie Leg” fall into those categories?

I am still letting all of this soak into my mind (which may be dangerous). But let’s have a healthy conversation about it shall we?

 

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. The Paradigm Life. Paradigm Life. Rights Reserved.
Video provided by YouTube

Natasha’s Thought of the Day: My Definition of a Coward

A coward is a hilarious yet pitiful sight to see and experience. A coward hides behind aliases, anonymity, avatars, masks, lies, and other people. A coward yells loudly behind mommy’s dress and daddy’s coat, but never stands out and speaks up for the world to see. A coward spits venom like a serpent but is too scared to face those they attack. A coward has little to no self-esteem, self-worth, dignity, or grace, so lacking a spine they sneak around trying to drag others to their level. A coward will hide behind a title but never live up to it. A coward is never dependable, reliable, or consistent…except in their cowardice. They simply exist, but never live, and even in their existence they don’t leave much of an impression.

I’m not too sure if I should feel sorry for the cowards of the world, sympathy, or nothing at all. They are a sad group of people. They can never stand on their own, they can never fight their own battles, they can never truly lead, they always make excuses for their inadequacies, and blame others for their shortcomings. Cowards are always the victim, always the damsel in distress, always the ones needing saving, always the ones complaining about what’s wrong and why they can’t do something. The words, ‘can’t’ and ‘impossible’ begin and end their sentences, and sometimes their days.

Cowards live for revenge, wanting to pay back those who hurt them, but they don’t have the courage to actually face this person head on. Cowards like to pick fights, but never stick around for combat, or they find a way for others to join the fight so their weaknesses are never revealed. They are the ones who spread rumors and cause drama, but in a sneaky, cleaver kind of way–that always make them look innocent. They pretend to be someone they aren’t because they don’t have the courage to be who they were created to be. They are weak-minded, weak physically, weak morally, and weak spiritually. They live in constant darkness; for only in light can one find true strength. It’s no wonder why cowards always prefer playing devil’s advocate, because for them it is too great a mountain to climb reaching up towards hope, possibility, and excellence, when they can use less effort kneeling down towards mediocrity.

I have encountered many cowards in my time, some as recently as today, and I am amazed at how much time they have on their hands to focus their energy on doing absolutely nothing of relevance in our world–except in their minds. It is pitiful that these insecure people spend so many hours of their day thinking about me, plotting and planning against me, and envious of what I have that they wish they had. We all have had our run-ins with cowards like this. See, cowards have plenty of time and energy to spread lies and hate, try to destroy other people’s reputations, families and businesses,  yet they don’t invest the time and energy to bring goodness and love into our world. They don’t have the time and energy to make a positive contribution to society, yet they can waste all of their resources trying to drain someone else and destroy their dreams. They don’t have the time and energy to build, create, innovate, inspire, embrace, uplift, and shine. Yet they have the time and energy to tear things apart, destroy, manipulate, deceive, and play childish games. They have time to send stupid messages and make phone calls to others hoping to make them feel as miserable as they do; post idiotic things on the Internet for even the tiniest bit of attention; make claims without supporting evidence; and just take up much-needed space in the world. They eventually leave this world as they entered it and lived it…clueless!

I have more respect for the person who tries and fails, than the one who never tries. I have more respect for the person with bumps, bruises, cuts and burns from falling down in life, because in their walk I see that they found a way to get back up. I have more respect for the person who comes to me directly, without masks, anonymity and code names, and just speaks their mind. I have more respect for the person who comes right out and confronts me with the goal to fight, than sucker-punch me in the dark. I have no respect for a person who isn’t brave enough to stand up and speak their mind. I say what I want to say, and clearly say my name when I’m speaking. I don’t post to my blogs or anywhere else as “anonymous” or with some made up alias, or using a picture not mine, because I have the courage to speak up, speak out, and back up what I say. My parents didn’t raise a punk, so I don’t cower over like one. I’m no bully and I won’t be bullied–never have and never will!

So I have one last thing to say to the cowards of the world…you can say what you want and do what you want, because just like your anonymity, you really don’t exist!

 

Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

>The Complexities of Relationships: Part Two

>Yesterday I posted part one of this series on relationships. The topic hit me and I felt it important to share because we are all supposed to strive to be better, do better, and live better lives on a daily basis. An acquaintance of mine said, “if you keep yourself in check then no one else has to”. So by sharing this tidbit of information I can ‘check’ myself and maybe you will humble yourself enough to do the same. So let’s pick up where I left off….

CONTROL, INSECURITY, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, EGO, PRIDE

Uh oh towards the end of my post yesterday did I touch on another sensitive term, insecurity? In our double-standard world only women are to be insecure and have low self-esteem. Yet any time a man feels the need to keep people around him constantly (entourage), attempt to make his woman jealous by giving out his number, constantly flirting, and having lunch or dinner with other women- he is insecure, and dare I say, has issues with his self-esteem, as he always feels the need to prove he “still has it”…here comes the ego! 

When a man finds it in himself to consistently make sly, negative remarks about the men who find his wife/girlfriend/lover attractive, possibly even making it his mission to confront the other men, he is insecure. The same is true of women who do these things. If your significant other does not respect you enough to respectfully and firmly push away the advances of other interested persons, then you need to be with someone else. You should not have to confront another person. Your issue is not with them, it’s with your significant other. No one should be playing these games. We’re called ‘grownups’ for a reason people. Let’s grow up! 

A person who is secure with “self” and has healthy self-esteem is comfortable alone, they don’t need others to validate them. They don’t need to always be around someone or be the life of the party all of the time. They also don’t need to play games. They love without always looking over their shoulder waiting for the other person to stab them in the back. They love without expecting anything in return. They freely practice the art of reciprocity. They don’t need to frequently or constantly tell their loved ones how much they have done for them or how much they spent on them. Relationships soon turn into conditional arenas when we start playing that game.

I gave back an expensive piece of jewelry and purse to a man who gave them as “gifts” but clearly attached conditions. In his twisted mind his wealth gave him certain rights when it came to other people, especially me if I was going to be his girlfriend, ‘woman’, or whatever title you want to use. In his mind he was doing me a favor, he was giving me something. Boy was he surprised at my reaction. No woman had ever given back a gift and walked away from him. That surely bruised his ego!

Several years ago I called off a wedding three months before we were supposed to say, “I do” because of similar reasons, a man thinking I was merely his trophy he could take off a shelf and show off when he wanted, then he could put back on the shelf when he wanted to run off and do his own thing. He felt that because of his fame and wealth in some way he owned me, I was his. I should feel lucky to have him, “do you know how many women want your position?” he would ask. He was sadly wrong about me! 

I did not blink when I handed back those items, nor did I have second thoughts about calling off my wedding. I walked away and never looked back. I cannot be bought or sold. I will not lose myself to any person, because I belong to and serve a higher being. I’m not angry, bitter, or sad…I’m simply content in my place and space, and I would rather be alone than lonely and a disappointment to God.    

Tomorrow I will continue with Part Three of this series. I look forward to your feedback…let’s continue a healthy dialogue! 

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

>The Complexities of Relationships: Part One

>In my soon-to-be 35 years on this planet (in two short months) I have dated more men than I would care to admit, and hopefully no one who remembers would ever shout out the number. (Laugh) With this experience, and the fact that I was blessed to have a father who first “schooled” me on guys when I was 12, and several male friends who taught me the ins and outs of ‘doggy land’, I have learned a great deal about men and about myself.

I love men and how they are wired. I love what I know about them and the hidden treasures that are still left uncovered. I’m not one of those women who yell out, “I don’t need a man”….please I don’t need drama, I don’t need pain, I don’t need mounting debt, I don’t need a toothache, I do need love…love from a man. The man who loves me and receives my love in return has definitely hit the jackpot and found a good thing, because I will give him all he needs as God directs our path. It has been a long journey to get to this place and space, and it has been worth the bumps, bruises, heart aches and heart breaks. Now I’m truly ready for what God has been preparing me for…my King!  

WOMEN COMPARED TO MEN

Those women who grew up with males showing them the “ropes” have a major advantage over women who had to learn the long, hard way about men and their nuances, games, and unbearable ways. I’m giggling as I write this because I know of some men who would scoff at that last description. What I have learned is that what I know about men I am not to share with them. In the past I would quickly ramble off every trick of the trade guys played to prove to them they could not pull the wool over my eyes. Now with time I have learned that men thrive off of playing a game of strategy. To be the “man” they must always maintain the upper hand. So for me, that means I cannot show my “cards”; simply let things be and don’t get played.

I have also learned that when I don’t give in to the game playing that men claim they don’t thrive on, that my life is less complicated. Some men live for drama, it’s like playing a video game or driving a sports car; they are adrenaline junkies so anytime they can live on the edge they will seize the moment. It’s also about control. No matter how many times and different ways they say that they aren’t control freaks and don’t expect to control all relationships (business and personal) they simply are not being honest.  

I believe that in the context of marriage, the man as husband is the head of the home…but his wife is his crown. A wife isn’t to walk ahead or behind her husband, but beside him on his left…closest to his heart. In relationships there is always one person who is stronger or weaker in certain areas than the other. We are to come together as one to compliment those areas of strength and weakness, not expose or pounce on them. When you resort to this level of immaturity what you are really doing is revealing your own insecurities.

Let me also say that the role of husband and wife are to only be played by husband and wife. Don’t set these expectations up in casual or even seemingly serious relationships. There is a big difference in carrying yourself like a woman who plans to be a wife, and mentally and physically assuming the role of a wife. You have emotionally married the man prematurely and that is when things get complicated and ugly. You start assuming and he starts assuming and you know what they say when you ass-u-me!   

I will let you ponder over that, and tomorrow I will continue with Part Two of this series. I look forward to your feedback…let’s have a healthy dialogue!

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.