“The best revenge is living well. I don’t need to focus my attention and energy on ‘getting even’ with anyone– because I’m already ahead of them. It would require me to turn around, go back, and invest time and resources trying to hurt them. I’d rather carry myself with grace all the way to victory. I don’t need confirmation of my greatness. I don’t need someone to tell me I’m special or brilliant. I don’t need validation. I know who I am, whose child I am, what I’m made of, and what I will and won’t tolerate in my life. I also know that the eternal will stick around while the temporal will eventually fall to the wayside, so I don’t need to hold on to things or people. As my Dad always told me, “you can’t lose what’s rightfully yours”. Everything has its purpose and place in life. So heal and let go of the past. Heal and move forward in your life. Heal and live with dignity. Seek greatness and not revenge in your life so that your remaining days on Earth are well-spent and legacy-defining.”
– Natasha L. Foreman, MBA
Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman.
“I learn the lesson and move forward, not dwelling on what once was because I’m too focused on what I’m doing now and how it can impact my future. I’m not concerned with those I once encountered who I walked away from because if they were meant to be in my life today God would have kept them by my side…I am not concerned with what once was or if something could have been differently; the woulda, coulda, shoulda is for people who will always be less than where they need to be in life. I am also in no hurry to get to my future for I am still amazed by what is taking place today, the present, and the gifts that I receive daily by just being receptive and accountable. I strive to lead, live and make decisions in and through excellence not fear, doubt, or insecurity. Those who don’t see things that way usually don’t last walking next to me on this path. I lovingly allow them to stay behind or sprint ahead, because I’m on a long-distance mission of greatness that can’t be rushed or held behind.”
– Natasha L. Foreman, MBA
>Yesterday I posted part one of this series on relationships. The topic hit me and I felt it important to share because we are all supposed to strive to be better, do better, and live better lives on a daily basis. An acquaintance of mine said, “if you keep yourself in check then no one else has to”. So by sharing this tidbit of information I can ‘check’ myself and maybe you will humble yourself enough to do the same. So let’s pick up where I left off….
CONTROL, INSECURITY, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, EGO, PRIDE
Uh oh towards the end of my post yesterday did I touch on another sensitive term, insecurity? In our double-standard world only women are to be insecure and have low self-esteem. Yet any time a man feels the need to keep people around him constantly (entourage), attempt to make his woman jealous by giving out his number, constantly flirting, and having lunch or dinner with other women- he is insecure, and dare I say, has issues with his self-esteem, as he always feels the need to prove he “still has it”…here comes the ego!
When a man finds it in himself to consistently make sly, negative remarks about the men who find his wife/girlfriend/lover attractive, possibly even making it his mission to confront the other men, he is insecure. The same is true of women who do these things. If your significant other does not respect you enough to respectfully and firmly push away the advances of other interested persons, then you need to be with someone else. You should not have to confront another person. Your issue is not with them, it’s with your significant other. No one should be playing these games. We’re called ‘grownups’ for a reason people. Let’s grow up!
A person who is secure with “self” and has healthy self-esteem is comfortable alone, they don’t need others to validate them. They don’t need to always be around someone or be the life of the party all of the time. They also don’t need to play games. They love without always looking over their shoulder waiting for the other person to stab them in the back. They love without expecting anything in return. They freely practice the art of reciprocity. They don’t need to frequently or constantly tell their loved ones how much they have done for them or how much they spent on them. Relationships soon turn into conditional arenas when we start playing that game.
I gave back an expensive piece of jewelry and purse to a man who gave them as “gifts” but clearly attached conditions. In his twisted mind his wealth gave him certain rights when it came to other people, especially me if I was going to be his girlfriend, ‘woman’, or whatever title you want to use. In his mind he was doing me a favor, he was giving me something. Boy was he surprised at my reaction. No woman had ever given back a gift and walked away from him. That surely bruised his ego!
Several years ago I called off a wedding three months before we were supposed to say, “I do” because of similar reasons, a man thinking I was merely his trophy he could take off a shelf and show off when he wanted, then he could put back on the shelf when he wanted to run off and do his own thing. He felt that because of his fame and wealth in some way he owned me, I was his. I should feel lucky to have him, “do you know how many women want your position?” he would ask. He was sadly wrong about me!
I did not blink when I handed back those items, nor did I have second thoughts about calling off my wedding. I walked away and never looked back. I cannot be bought or sold. I will not lose myself to any person, because I belong to and serve a higher being. I’m not angry, bitter, or sad…I’m simply content in my place and space, and I would rather be alone than lonely and a disappointment to God.
Tomorrow I will continue with Part Three of this series. I look forward to your feedback…let’s continue a healthy dialogue!
Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.