“I learn the lesson and move forward, not dwelling on what once was because I’m too focused on what I’m doing now and how it can impact my future. I’m not concerned with those I once encountered who I walked away from because if they were meant to be in my life today God would have kept them by my side…I am not concerned with what once was or if something could have been differently; the woulda, coulda, shoulda is for people who will always be less than where they need to be in life. I am also in no hurry to get to my future for I am still amazed by what is taking place today, the present, and the gifts that I receive daily by just being receptive and accountable. I strive to lead, live and make decisions in and through excellence not fear, doubt, or insecurity. Those who don’t see things that way usually don’t last walking next to me on this path. I lovingly allow them to stay behind or sprint ahead, because I’m on a long-distance mission of greatness that can’t be rushed or held behind.”
– Natasha L. Foreman, MBA
Category Archives: givers versus takers
Natasha’s Thought of the Day: My Definition of a Coward
A coward is a hilarious yet pitiful sight to see and experience. A coward hides behind aliases, anonymity, avatars, masks, lies, and other people. A coward yells loudly behind mommy’s dress and daddy’s coat, but never stands out and speaks up for the world to see. A coward spits venom like a serpent but is too scared to face those they attack. A coward has little to no self-esteem, self-worth, dignity, or grace, so lacking a spine they sneak around trying to drag others to their level. A coward will hide behind a title but never live up to it. A coward is never dependable, reliable, or consistent…except in their cowardice. They simply exist, but never live, and even in their existence they don’t leave much of an impression.
I’m not too sure if I should feel sorry for the cowards of the world, sympathy, or nothing at all. They are a sad group of people. They can never stand on their own, they can never fight their own battles, they can never truly lead, they always make excuses for their inadequacies, and blame others for their shortcomings. Cowards are always the victim, always the damsel in distress, always the ones needing saving, always the ones complaining about what’s wrong and why they can’t do something. The words, ‘can’t’ and ‘impossible’ begin and end their sentences, and sometimes their days.
Cowards live for revenge, wanting to pay back those who hurt them, but they don’t have the courage to actually face this person head on. Cowards like to pick fights, but never stick around for combat, or they find a way for others to join the fight so their weaknesses are never revealed. They are the ones who spread rumors and cause drama, but in a sneaky, cleaver kind of way–that always make them look innocent. They pretend to be someone they aren’t because they don’t have the courage to be who they were created to be. They are weak-minded, weak physically, weak morally, and weak spiritually. They live in constant darkness; for only in light can one find true strength. It’s no wonder why cowards always prefer playing devil’s advocate, because for them it is too great a mountain to climb reaching up towards hope, possibility, and excellence, when they can use less effort kneeling down towards mediocrity.
I have encountered many cowards in my time, some as recently as today, and I am amazed at how much time they have on their hands to focus their energy on doing absolutely nothing of relevance in our world–except in their minds. It is pitiful that these insecure people spend so many hours of their day thinking about me, plotting and planning against me, and envious of what I have that they wish they had. We all have had our run-ins with cowards like this. See, cowards have plenty of time and energy to spread lies and hate, try to destroy other people’s reputations, families and businesses, yet they don’t invest the time and energy to bring goodness and love into our world. They don’t have the time and energy to make a positive contribution to society, yet they can waste all of their resources trying to drain someone else and destroy their dreams. They don’t have the time and energy to build, create, innovate, inspire, embrace, uplift, and shine. Yet they have the time and energy to tear things apart, destroy, manipulate, deceive, and play childish games. They have time to send stupid messages and make phone calls to others hoping to make them feel as miserable as they do; post idiotic things on the Internet for even the tiniest bit of attention; make claims without supporting evidence; and just take up much-needed space in the world. They eventually leave this world as they entered it and lived it…clueless!
I have more respect for the person who tries and fails, than the one who never tries. I have more respect for the person with bumps, bruises, cuts and burns from falling down in life, because in their walk I see that they found a way to get back up. I have more respect for the person who comes to me directly, without masks, anonymity and code names, and just speaks their mind. I have more respect for the person who comes right out and confronts me with the goal to fight, than sucker-punch me in the dark. I have no respect for a person who isn’t brave enough to stand up and speak their mind. I say what I want to say, and clearly say my name when I’m speaking. I don’t post to my blogs or anywhere else as “anonymous” or with some made up alias, or using a picture not mine, because I have the courage to speak up, speak out, and back up what I say. My parents didn’t raise a punk, so I don’t cower over like one. I’m no bully and I won’t be bullied–never have and never will!
So I have one last thing to say to the cowards of the world…you can say what you want and do what you want, because just like your anonymity, you really don’t exist!
Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
>Fearing What We Want Most Because of Control
>In my honest opinion I think that people fear loving, giving, receiving, sharing, and caring because these are elements that we can't truly and fully control. You can't control how others will respond, you can't control the outcome, and you can't control your feelings and emotions. So what do we do? We hold back. We filter ourselves, we tiptoe around issues and situations. We give only a small fraction of ourselves to others, but oddly enough we give more to those who shouldn't matter, and give less to those who should matter most. We give our time, attention and affection to people who are leaches, and who spend their lives secretly and slowly sucking the life out of others- us included. Yet we neglect the ones who bring added value to our lives.
We applaud the ones who spend their days exclaiming (although trying to act modest), "look what I did", "look who I helped", "look at what I bought", "look at what someone gave me" rather than honoring the person who gives without announcing it to the world, the person who doesn't need to show off like a peacock what they possess or were given. We carry on our backs the victims who spend their waking moments showing off their symbolic 'cross' they have carried since childhood. We tell ourselves, "they need saving, they need us". We merely pat the backs of those who are humble survivors and fighters, who make no excuses and need no "oh woest me" stories to gain sympathy or empathy. They instead get up each day and do their job to the best of their ability. Those are the ones we should be walking beside. Those are the ones we should be soaring with- instead we hang with the scum eaters.
More energy is given to the show-off and to the victim, than the doer and fighter, and this troubles me.
It is more comfortable uplifting someone who spends life taking from others, because in our minds we can control that situation and we can possibly 'fix' and save them. Everyone wants to be a hero, because you think you can control your interaction with the person you're saving. When in reality the more you try to save them the more they need saving- and soon a co-dependent relationship is formed. You need the ego-stroking and cheerleading, and they need the savior. Sounds ridiculously draining to me but I see this scenario regularly.
You would think that people would avoid this type of interaction, but I believe that it is uncomfortable for some of us to build a life with a person who is comfortable rising to the top with you; giving, rather than taking, sharing rather than expecting. We can't control our feelings with this person. They are our hero as much or more than we are theirs- and this scares some of us. We can't control falling into the light of love with them- so we would rather walk in darkness and hope that the pocket-sized flashlight with weakened batteries is enough to help see us through. Instead of living a life that feels effortless, we would rather expend unnecessary energy enabling someone and give to a person who lives with a sense of entitlement but perpetrates as though they are charitable.
We think that it is safer to live in the unknown of potential mania, than the unknown of limitless bliss. Wouldn't you rather embrace the idea of how good something can be, versus the unknown of how devastating something could become? Are we then not drama queens and kings? Are we not setting ourselves up for hurt, embarrassment and failure? Are we not forming cancerous relationships?
How is there comfort in being with someone who has less to lose by being associated with you? Less to lose if scandal splatters upon you? How is there comfort in being with someone who would jump ship, throw you under the bus, and turn their back on you if something bad came your way? How is there comfort in associating with a person who is only around you for what they can get from you and from knowing you? Where is your true span of control in this type of relationship?
The reality is, being with the wrong person, even temporarily, just because we think we can control the circumstances actually leaves us in less control than if we were with the person we're supposed to love, and who truly loves us. If fear is False Evidence Appearing Real then why wouldn't we embrace truth? Why wouldn't we embrace the realness of life, love, joy and happiness? Why wouldn't we want to be super-charged by a shared energy with a person who gives as much or more than we do?
Are you willing to miss being with the person who is your better half because you are a coward? Are you willing to lose the best thing that you may ever have, the person whose love is priceless- for something that can be easily replicated, and quickly bought and sold? You can let go and experience true love, or you can close your eyes and wake up to the nightmare of having your joy stolen from you.
Which option seems to provide you with more control now?
Natasha L. Foreman
Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.