>Last Friday I watched the movie Vanilla Sky again after having seen it many years ago. I was relaxing on the airplane and wanted to see a thriller that would have me on the edge of my seat. My friend was next to me working like crazy and I knew there would be conflict if I broke our pact to not watch a new release without each other. Friends…don’t you love them? Okay I’ve clearly digressed…back toVanilla Sky- it confused me the first time I watched it because I was overanalyzing it; so this time I simply opened my eyes and let the movie reel me in to the twisted world of Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz’s characters, David Aames and Julie Gianni respectively.
There is a common theme in these psychological thrillers that many men fail to recognize, realize, and put in their back pocket for quick reference in the future- there is no man exempt from being stalked- especially not men of influence and affluence; for you your odds are even greater. If you are having a casual fling or affair with a woman, but you are not a ‘couple’ in any aspect of the term- you need to be cautious as to how much time and money you spend and how far you go with this delicate situation and fragile personality. Let me just say that you are certifiably out of your mind if you’re involved with an employee, co-worker, agent, representative, volunteer, or intern at your company (or toying with the idea). You are just waiting for the drama to begin- but if you walk away now maybe there is hope for you yet. Even flirting with someone nowadays could put you in the shoes of Idris Elba in the movie Obsessed, remember how Beyonce had to beat the mess out of that crazy woman?
I have a funny feeling as I type this that it would be best to split this article into another two-parter series because it’s about to be deep and heavy. So that is what we’re going to do….
Are you ready to find out if you’re involved with or in the cross hairs of a stalker or potential stalker? Here’s some tell-tale signs:
– She frequently tells you that her world is incomplete or unbearable without you
– You are her “hero”
– She is “your biggest fan”
– She compares and refers to you as a fictional superhero
– She goes out of her way to appear to be different than other women you dated
– She makes her presence felt when you’re in public- in an attempt to send the signal that you’re ‘off limits’
– You aren’t a couple, yet she refers to “we” and “us” frequently
– She exhibits childish behaviors and tendencies where you become ‘daddy’
– She shows up at your events uninvited
– She seems to always know where you are
– She knows more about you in two months than most friends of 1-2 years
– She knew a great deal about you before you met, or soon after meeting
– She is clingy and needs to be around and under you constantly
– She is constantly trying to form a deeper connection with you
– She spends a great deal of her day calling, texting, emailing, and IM’ing you
– She correlates her happiness with you to her well-being
– You are the center of her life
– She shows up to your house frequently unannounced and uninvited
– She tries to (and encourages) having unprotected sex with you
– She begins to dress and carry herself like women you are attracted to
– She joins groups and associations you are a member of
– She somehow suddenly enjoys all or most of your hobbies
– She tells you she thinks you are soul mates, that you were meant to be together
– She tells you that you’re her only real friend
– She tells you that you are the only family she has
– She plays mental games
– She claims to be out of town on a trip, when she is actually still in town
– She jokes around about hurting other women you associate with
– She seems to seek your approval and acceptance
– Her self-esteem is connected to how you view her
– She expects you to contact her more frequently
– She jokes about releasing your pictures and letters to the public
– She says she’s not ready for kids, but always talks about becoming a mother
– She is an emotional roller coaster
– She frequently recalls intimate moments with you like a fairy-tale
– She talks with great detail about a future with you as though you are a couple
– She speaks casually about having a family with you and being your wife
– She questions your whereabouts and who you associate with
– She tries to find ways to meet and get close to your friends and family
– She inserts herself into your personal and/or professional life
This list can go on for pages. These are just several warning signs of women who potentially could become your stalker, or who are already stalking you. This is serious, and should not be taken lightly. Many men have lost their freedom, their income, their lives, their limbs, and their peace of mind behind women they assumed were just infatuated with them; women they assumed knew their insignificant “role” or “position”- trust me you both are on totally different pages!
This is not just lust, puppy love, a crush, or infatuation- this is clear stalker behavior and if you continue down this path you are doomed to experience her wrath at the highest level. Matter of fact, take a double-take with any woman over the age of 25…hmmm even 22, who makes reference to having a ‘crush’ on you- that’s not grown woman talk. Now that I’m thinking about the movie The Crush, you should also shudder if a teen girl says, “I have a crush on you”. Run far far away!
A woman claiming to have a crush on you exhibits characteristics of an incomplete life tied to daddy issues- just waiting to burst the seams. A personality such as this has an imagined sense of a connection with you, and feels entitled to a life with you. In her mind you are soul mates, and are to be together forever. She is not merely your fling, sex buddy, lover, or friend- in her mind she is yours and you are hers, you just haven’t realized it yet! I’m going to let you ponder this over night. I’m not trying to scare you- just enlighten you; open your eyes and make you see that some people are one french fry short of a Happy Meal and you have to be cautious and THINK before you speak or act, and consider the consequences! Consider getting out of the sticky web you wove or are weaving and start the new year drama-free!
Natasha L. Foreman
Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
Entire contents of this article with the exception of images and references to outside articles are Copyright Protected by Natasha L. Foreman. paradigmlife.blogspot.com
Twitter stalker- zazzle.com
The Crush- thevine.com.au
Vanilla Sky- ew.com
I’m Not a Stalker- roadkilltshirts.com