>Good morning fellas! How did you sleep? Did you have nightmares of a woman diving through the front window of your home screaming your name? Did you dream of a woman wielding a large knife in your kitchen as you ran for your life?
Ah I see yesterday’s blog post got you thinking. Good. It’s about time your brain did the thinking for you! Are you ready to pick up where we left off and explore female stalkers and your potential for becoming the next stalking victim? Great let’s continue….
Not all movies are created just for entertainment purposes. Some shed light on and attempt to educate us about common issues in the world. If you choose to ignore the signs then that is your fault. Don’t then blame her or accuse her of being crazy. She showed you upfront that she had a ‘screw loose’ while you were too busy being a hero, and jumping for joy that you had a ‘fan’. Tom Cruise’s character, David Aames, in Vanilla Sky, was turned on by Julie Gianni’s stalker-like behavior in the beginning until it was too late and she drove them off a bridge at 80mph. It wasn’t that cute then was it?
Take your life seriously. Look at how you involve yourself with women, and ask yourself if she could possibly be reading more into your ‘arrangement’ than what you expressed. According to Steve Thompson a Yahoo writer, “Some women can be deluded into thinking that their victims are actually in love with them, where male stalkers are more likely not to care whether or not their affections are returned.” Do you remember Kathy Bates in the movie Misery? Nuff said.
So, if you are not crystal clear and repetitious (but no more than two times- after that walk away) in your intent with this female, then you are bound to have drama. If you don’t clearly state at least two or all of the following, you face a world of trouble:
“We are not a couple and I don’t want a committed and monogamous relationship with you”
“I am involved with other women that I see and spend time with frequently”
“Since I am involved with other women I expect you to respect me and them by not questioning me, or creating any drama if you happen to see us somewhere”
“You and I are together just to have fun and have sex”
“Unless you are invited you are not to come to my home or any event I’m hosting”
“No you can’t meet my friends, family, or associates”
“Our time together is not long-term, we are just hanging out temporarily”
“I don’t want children with you and I don’t intend to live with you or marry you”
You may think this is harsh, but trust me when I say that more women go ‘off’ when they feel misled and manipulated. If you feel the need to have a superficial, sexual relationship with a woman then you need to understand the risks that come with that reward. Let’s stop playing games with the definition of sex, sexual relations, and intimacy- we all know what they mean, if not the crazed woman will remind you!
For women sex is a HUGE deal. No matter what a woman says, sex is a major element in our lives. We either see it on a spiritual level, an empowering and liberating one, or a combination of the two. Sex connects a woman to a man on a deep level, especially if she was taught to value her body and who she shared it with. Sex for many men is like wearing clothes, you can easily get something new. Sex for many women is a rite of passage, it tugs on her maternal strings, it rings her matrimonial ‘bell’- so how do you think it is for a woman who becomes obsessed and resorts to stalking?
According to Steve Thompson’s article women are sneakier stalkers than men, because of their smaller stature they often hide in the shadows (and bushes) unlike their male counterparts who make their presence known to the person they are stalking. So if you want to be all willy nilly and think you’re ‘the man’ because you have some woman hanging on your every word and the waist of your pants, beware…she could be the one who busts the windows out of your car, slashes your tires, throws battery acid on your cherished possessions, shreds your clothes, sends inappropriate pictures and correspondence that you sent her to almost everyone you know in a mass email, calls your mom and goes on a tirade about the type of son she raised, and makes your life a living hell.
Let me share one more vital piece of information- no matter what she says, no matter how good it feels or looks- always always always wear a condom, your own condom (not one she gives you), never get caught slipping without one, and always discard it where she can’t access it- or you could fall victim to ‘baby mama drama’ in the worst way! Trust me, I have seen it happen on several occasions and it is an ugly sight. An obsessed woman will do anything to trap and keep you, so planning a pregnancy is right up her alley.
Stalking is a mental health issue and the only way to combat it without medical treatment is to be proactive in our relations with others. When we see the signs we need to address them immediately and when necessary, run away quick, fast and in a hurry! Fellas this is your lesson for the day. Do with it as you please, but don’t ever say I didn’t try to help you. Just as I share information to protect my fellow sister-girls, I too am concerned about your well-being. We’re all in this together. So feel free to share this message with all the men you know. Don’t think you can handle this alone. Don’t feel ashamed if you have a stalker and feel that it isn’t necessary to report her to the police, women understand this fear of embarrassment and will continue until faced with possible jail time or some other form of legal punishment. Steve Thompson’s article hits another note that might pull your ‘chords’:
“A female stalker is often catty and intelligent, and will spend her time thinking of ways to get what she wants, which is often her stalking target. If she thinks she is in love with you, for example, she might see your spouse as an obstacle between the two of you, and therefore will target your spouse with violence. Make sure you think of your family as well as yourself if you are ever in this situation.” Think of Glenn Close in the movie Fatal Attraction or Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle – do you remember how out of control those situations became?
Just because you are in control of your career, doesn’t mean that you can handle the beast called stalking. Stop lying to yourself. The truth will set you free and maybe you can avoid getting a restraining order!
Natasha L. Foreman
Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
Entire contents of this article with the exception of images and references to outside articles are Copyright Protected by Natasha L. Foreman. paradigmlife.blogspot.com
Sources and Photo Credits:
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle- dead-like-me.net
Swim Fan- tribute.ca
Fatal Attraction- guardian.co.uk
Restraining Order image- murderati.com
Steve Thompson (2008). How to Deal with a Female Stalker. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/507861/how_to_deal_with_a_female_stalker_pg2.html?cat=17