>Natasha’s LOVE Thought of the Day 10.31.10

>

LOVE says “let’s not fight over this”
LOVE says “let go and let God”
LOVE says “let’s make love”
LOVE doesn’t want to be lost in fear

We lose when we allow time to pass and we’re not spending it with the one we love; doing the things we enjoy and noticing God’s wonders around us.

We lose when we play games with other people’s hearts; when we won’t commit to just loving one person- having one monogamous relationship. 

We lose when we bring baby after baby into this world with multiple co-parents but we can never fully give as a complete unit; because our time is spread thin and is no longer ours to give.

We lose when we hold grudges and can’t forgive; when we punish those who hurt us by withholding love and affection. 

We lose when we don’t see ourselves and God in that other person, and when we don’t show that loving reflection in return.

How many of us lost hours and days due to an argument? If you passed away right now would that argument still matter? Would your ‘point’ still matter? Or would reclaiming that time be your most truest desire?

Think of the stories we have heard about over time and most recently about a widow, parent, or child who didn’t get the chance to say, “I love you” one last time. 

People are dying around the world over REAL issues; petty arguments trying to prove a point with a loved one aren’t worth losing precious time. We can’t get back that time. 

I don’t know about you but I want to spend my waking moments loving, being loved, and making love. I then want to spend my moments while sleeping reflecting on that love, so that my last day here on Earth- the last breath I take I can say loud and clear without hesitation that, “I KNOW LOVE!”

Take these next few moments and decide if you’re willing to waste another second without loving that person you know has your heart. Decide if being selfish or stubborn are worth not holding them in a deep embrace, staring into each other’s eyes, and passionately exchanging and blending kisses- expressing your love.

Let’s express and give more selfless love!

                          -Natasha L. Foreman



Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved. 
paradigmlife.blogspot.com

>Quote of the Day 10.23.10

>I saw this quote earlier and just had to post it on my blog. How many ways can one interpret the meaning and intent? Perspective.

~ Every betrayal contains a perfect moment, a coin stamped heads or tails with salvation on the other side. ~

-Barbara Kingsolver

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved.
paradigmlife.blogspot.com

>Quote of the Day 10.18.10

>

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,

Who never did,

Who won’t anymore…

And who always will.

So don’t worry about people from your past,

There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future!

I love this quote/poem. I have read it numerous times, and remind myself of the context when faced with making decisions about my past, present, and future. This has oftentimes been quoted with “author unknown”; and although my research pointed me in the direction of Adam Lindsay Gordon, I was unable to track down this quote/poem in order to give him due credit. If you have proof that Gordon or someone else penned this poignant message, please provide me a source to reference. Thank you.

Natasha

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved.
paradigmlife.blogspot.com  

>I’m More Than What You Think

>I'm more than the color of my skin, the length and texture of my hair, or how many different shades that I dye it; or my almond-shaped eyes, one hazel and one brown. I'm more than my ovaries or mammaries; more than my pearly whites, my long, thick thighs, or my body art. I'm more than my small feet or the size of my clothes.

I'm more than the college degrees displayed in my home, or the certificates and plaques of achievement, excellence, and appreciation. I'm more than the professional license I carry, the articles I've written, the blogs I post, or the books I read.

I'm more than the people I know, the places I've been, and the things I've experienced; more than my ancestral ties, or where I was born and raised in the Golden State. I'm definitely more than the men that I date.

I'm much much more, because all of these things don't make me who I am; I can lose them at any moment. They can become a forgotten memory, or damaged and irreplaceable. But one thing that will never change, one thing that defines me and I'm most proud of is, that…I'm a child of God, and through Him I'm perfect even with my flaws!

Do you know yourself?

-Written by Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.
paradigmlife.blogspot.com

>Screening of Prospective Black Husbands: The No-Win Negotiation Table

>So a guy I know, posted this video/movie from YouTube on Facebook and I have to admit that it is beyond hilarious and sad at the same time. While I laughed, I also felt uncomfortable because I know that this has been the problem with me, friends, relatives, associates, and complete strangers for quite some time. 

We’re taught to set high standards for ourselves and for those that enter our lives, but what we overlook is that these lists of prerequisites are oftentimes too long, too complicated, and highly illogical. We play up our lists with these romantic undertones, while at the same time we lace them with arsenic that destroys any chance of us not only finding these men, keeping these men, but being happily in love with them for the long-term…and having this love reciprocated. 

We’ve stepped our game up in our educational and career pursuits, but then dumbed ourselves down with superficiality. We’ve ignored our personal list of flaws that make us undesirable. We want to be selective as to which of God’s commands and examples we want to follow, not wanting to “honor and obey”- wanting to call ourselves ‘virtuous’, but living the life as anything but the proverbial virtuous woman! We are determined to call ourselves ‘independent’- yet we want a man to basically take care of us. We want his money to be our money, and our money to be…our money. We want to question what he does, when he does it, and who he’s doing it with- but we refuse to “answer to him”. Our children together, that he helped in conceiving, somehow become “my children” because we spend more time with them than he does (even though the nanny most likely spends more time with them than anyone). 

We want our husbands to bring in the six and seven figure loaves of bread, keep us in the latest fashions and cars, splurge on us, but we want him to be home with us the majority of the time, that doesn’t make sense! Make up your mind. Heck, when I look at this movie I’m no longer surprised that Black men are running scared, hiding away, doing dirt behind our backs, or now raising their standards to trump us and say, “now what are you bringing to the table Miss Independent?”

I’m no longer trying to be independent and I’m definitely not dependent. I’m interdependent. Refer to my earlier posts when I wrote the series on relationships, and the types we fall into. Independent means you stand on your own, don’t want or need help, and you’re closed off to the idea of a relationship being a true partnership- but with the man as the leader. Dependent means you want someone to take care of your every desire and whim, and you have no desire to handle any real responsibilities because you are the ‘queen’. It’s all about you and what you’re getting out of the exchange. Your husband becomes the daddy you used to have, or worse, the one you never had- so he’s getting added pressure to perform. 

Interdependence is the reality that sometimes you need to breathe, sometimes you need help and need to lean on someone (and they can do the same in return), but you can also carry your own weight in a relationship. An interdependent person is a giver, not a taker. They look for opportunities where both people can grow together as a team, they are the co-pilot, but not co-dependent. That’s me! I’m not going to say I want a husband, then treat him like a roommate. At the same time, I’m not going to dump all of my responsibilities on him either. He’s your husband, not your servant. My student loans are not his, so while we have a household budget, any additional income that I bring in must go towards paying off my debt, not adding to my wardrobe or taking a trip with my girls, and definitely not expecting him to pay them for me. Bring me a man that’s cool with that, and I will make him the happiest man alive! 

Let me also address one other thing…if you don’t want your man’s eyes and feet to wander to another bed then I’d suggest you handle your business whenever, wherever, and however you can…get over yourself and what you don’t like, and “won’t do” because there are thousands of women who would jump at the chance to get their nasty little claws wrapped around him, and what you “won’t do” they will, happily!

Watch this video and see for yourself. Be honest sistas…if this is you, keep it real with yourself and with these men or you will forever be miserable and lonely. Because even if you find someone who you think meets your long list of must-haves, you will never truly be satisfied, and most definitely, he won’t either!   

Hey, I’m just keeping it real, all of the time!

Natasha

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved. 
Rights exclude attached video footage.
paradigmlife.blogspot.com 

Source:
YouTube  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgyg8vEHraE