>The Complexities of Relationships: Part One

>In my soon-to-be 35 years on this planet (in two short months) I have dated more men than I would care to admit, and hopefully no one who remembers would ever shout out the number. (Laugh) With this experience, and the fact that I was blessed to have a father who first “schooled” me on guys when I was 12, and several male friends who taught me the ins and outs of ‘doggy land’, I have learned a great deal about men and about myself.

I love men and how they are wired. I love what I know about them and the hidden treasures that are still left uncovered. I’m not one of those women who yell out, “I don’t need a man”….please I don’t need drama, I don’t need pain, I don’t need mounting debt, I don’t need a toothache, I do need love…love from a man. The man who loves me and receives my love in return has definitely hit the jackpot and found a good thing, because I will give him all he needs as God directs our path. It has been a long journey to get to this place and space, and it has been worth the bumps, bruises, heart aches and heart breaks. Now I’m truly ready for what God has been preparing me for…my King!  


Those women who grew up with males showing them the “ropes” have a major advantage over women who had to learn the long, hard way about men and their nuances, games, and unbearable ways. I’m giggling as I write this because I know of some men who would scoff at that last description. What I have learned is that what I know about men I am not to share with them. In the past I would quickly ramble off every trick of the trade guys played to prove to them they could not pull the wool over my eyes. Now with time I have learned that men thrive off of playing a game of strategy. To be the “man” they must always maintain the upper hand. So for me, that means I cannot show my “cards”; simply let things be and don’t get played.

I have also learned that when I don’t give in to the game playing that men claim they don’t thrive on, that my life is less complicated. Some men live for drama, it’s like playing a video game or driving a sports car; they are adrenaline junkies so anytime they can live on the edge they will seize the moment. It’s also about control. No matter how many times and different ways they say that they aren’t control freaks and don’t expect to control all relationships (business and personal) they simply are not being honest.  

I believe that in the context of marriage, the man as husband is the head of the home…but his wife is his crown. A wife isn’t to walk ahead or behind her husband, but beside him on his left…closest to his heart. In relationships there is always one person who is stronger or weaker in certain areas than the other. We are to come together as one to compliment those areas of strength and weakness, not expose or pounce on them. When you resort to this level of immaturity what you are really doing is revealing your own insecurities.

Let me also say that the role of husband and wife are to only be played by husband and wife. Don’t set these expectations up in casual or even seemingly serious relationships. There is a big difference in carrying yourself like a woman who plans to be a wife, and mentally and physically assuming the role of a wife. You have emotionally married the man prematurely and that is when things get complicated and ugly. You start assuming and he starts assuming and you know what they say when you ass-u-me!   

I will let you ponder over that, and tomorrow I will continue with Part Two of this series. I look forward to your feedback…let’s have a healthy dialogue!

Copyright 2010. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

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