I know two people who are contemplating marriage. Shy of a few months before their nuptials they have ran into a huge obstacle. Looking back, this is something they could have avoided more than a year ago when they first became engaged. Maybe two years ago, when they were simply ‘dating’. Now they are at a standstill, one waiting for the other to change their mind and give in. The other is simply waiting for there to be a compromise.
“The nuptial vow should never be annulled, so long as its moral obligations are kept intact; but the frequency of divorce shows that the sacredness of this relationship is losing its influence, and that fatal mistakes are undermining its foundations.”
(Mary Baker Eddy, p. 59, lines 27-31)
It’s amazing that Mrs. Eddy wrote these profound words in the 1800s and even back then marriage had its “issues”; divorce rates and separation was considered high, and the very things we argue about and break up over took place back then.We enter a covenant to love, honor, and remain together until death parts us, but then we discover that one or both of us have been deceptive on some level. Mrs. Eddy was also correct in her assessment that, “Matrimony should never be entered into without a full recognition of its enduring obligations on both sides. There should be the most tender solicitude for each other’s happiness, and mutual attention and approbation should wait on all the years of married life.” (p. 59, lines 1-6).
We enter a vow without honestly discussing and agreeing upon how we will live in relation to our beliefs concerning religion, children…having them, how many, and how they are raised; politics, sex (how often, when, where), money, career (career wife and mom -vs- stay at home wife and mom), and so much more. We fall in love (with love) but never consider each other’s beliefs, convictions, opinions, and the like. Is our focus on changing the other person? Do we believe that they think just like us, or that eventually they will? Does compromise mean, “he will change his mind“?
I hope this couple comes together and make the right decision before they say, “I do“, before they bring children into this world, because “Marriage is unblest or blest, according to the disappointments it involves or the hopes it fulfills.” (p. 57, lines 31-32).
Mary Baker Eddy (Copyright 1875-2000) Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. ISBN 0-87952-259-3