– All iced out 150 karats of ice!
– You’ve seen these worn by all the rappers!
– This chain will attract crazy attention by all the ladies!
Tavis Smiley “Tavis Smiley Talks” Transcript Source: http://www.tavistalks.com/we-count-black-agenda-american-agenda
New York Times Article Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/09/us/politics/09race.html
“A plethora of escapes from supposedly secure prisons embarrassed the hapless wardens”
“The hapless contest winner was unable to locate the lucky ticket”
“King Pyrrhus defeated the Romans but his losses were extremely heavy”
“In heavy fighting the troops managed to recapture the hill, but it could only be considered a Pyrrhic victory”
“Casting a furtive glance over his shoulder, the prisoner slipped out the main prison gate to be swallowed up in the fog.”
“In a furtive manner she removed her shoes and tiptoed up to her room”
What are your thoughts?
Tomorrow I will pick up from this point. Yes, I dig deeper and explore both sides of the table. I wish I could just share all of it in one post, but I know that you have a life beyond reading blog posts.
Copyright © 2010 by Natasha L. Foreman. All rights reserved
>A few days ago we looked at setting your goals. Today let’s move a step farther away from your comfort zone shall we?!? In order for your goals to be a major focus in your life you need to see them daily. What do I mean by that? Well, let me put it to you this way, you can’t simply write them in your journal or on a sheet of paper and put it away somewhere. Your goals need to be in your face day in and day out asking you, “So what are you doing today to make this happen?”
I have post-it notes I keep in my car, on my laptop, bathroom mirror in my bedroom, and throughout my home. I call them “God notes” because I’m asking God to show up and show out to help me reach these weekly and monthly goals. On my dry erase board in my office I have my big action plan items that I need to attack and conquer for my clients, and for myself. I have my financial goals boldly written where I can see them every time I enter and exit the room.
Another key reinforcer is a goal poster that I like putting on walls and bedroom doors. I don’t care that some people may think it’s tacky to do, I know how it makes me feel (especially when I accomplish those goals). First writing down my goals with the dates (which can be done in a notebook) allows me to put them in order of priority, making sure that I included every goal both short term and long term. Then I transfer the information written to the poster (bright colored ones really catch and hold your attention), making sure that it is legible and can be seen from a distance. I will oftentimes cut out pictures of items that represent the goal and clearly indicate my target completion date. Matter of fact, it’s time for an updated board this week.
Lastly, I have a “dream book” that I started in 2002-2003 while working with Mary Kay Cosmetics. As I moved up in leadership positions it was vital that I kept myself focused on what I needed and wanted in life….my big girl dreams! This week I must update it because some of the dates have passed, and the dreams I had as goals (and accomplished) need to be replaced with new goals. The goals I did not achieve, need to be re-assessed and updated with new dates. I will then share it with one to two people whose opinion matters most to me.
When I don’t keep these reminders in front of me constantly, I have nothing staring me in my face on those lazy days and not-feeling-so-good-days that tell me I’m slacking, and risk losing more than the roof over my head.
When fear tries to set in and my vision becomes blurred, I can quickly and easily turn to a “God note” or one of my other sources for motivation and clarity.
Be sure that your “accountability team” is doing their job and that you’re keeping them posted on your progress. Not reaching your goals does not phase you as much when no one knew of your goals to begin with- but the moment you tell people, “my goal is to bring home $7,100 monthly net beginning May 1, 2010” believe that March 29th they are asking you how close you are at reaching your goal….April 20th they are asking, “are you ready?”… And by May 1st they will be looking at you closely to see if you did what you said you would!
You must realize that you need this fire under you sometimes. Embrace it!
Now if you don’t have one to two people to share your goals with then contact me! I’ve been there…the naysayers, the scared kittens who run behind the curtains when they hear thunder and lightning….those are definitely not the type of people you need to share your goals with. You can’t run to the top with Shaggy and Scooby…trust me…the only time you will be running to the top of anything and that is up a flight of stairs (out of fear) trying to get away from something!
You need believers, innovators, movers and shakers. You need people who are forward-thinking, dream big and work smart so they can win. You need people who face fear head on; who hear and see the lightning and thunder and admire the power behind it, as they sit, watch, and listen in amazement.
…So trust and believe that I have spent many years wondering who would be a part of my “accountability team”. I wondered who could be trusted to encourage and push me even at times when things got blurry and I was not sure I would make it across the finish line. I’ve had people on my team that were lovingly cut; just as I have recently brought people aboard who expect nothing but the best from me and will encourage, motivate, push, and pull me all the way to the top.
The years of pushing myself, alone, were miserable and counter-productive. Having mentors and friends who know me, know my potential, and know my heart, surround me and say, “you can do it Tasha” has made all the difference. I’m not saying I don’t still have people around me who don’t see my vision, who don’t see how I can set high goals for myself with a short window of time to accomplish them; but I don’t rely on them for support, cheerleading and butt kicking…their simply my added motivation to prove to them that you can do anything you set your mind to doing.
So when faced with negative or insensitive comments about your goal posters, “God notes”, or dream book simply look directly into their eyes and say these four little words- pretend…its…not…there. If for whatever reason you have a real comedian on hand, smile and then say these four words- don’t…worry…about…it….then wait for their response; or should I say non-response.
As you find yourself reaching and accomplishing more and more goals be prepared for the sap sucking groupies because they will be coming out the wood works claiming they always believed in you from the beginning! Don’t stop and entertain this but for a minute (or at all) because you still have much more to do within your lifetime and investing in fair weather friends is not a lucrative investment!
Copyright © 2010 by Natasha L. Foreman. All rights reserved; excluding displayed images
Sleeping Man Image Source: http://janeheller.mlblogs.com/lazy.jpg
Ladder of Success Image Source: http://webprowriting.com/resources/Ladder_of_Success.gif
Shaggy and Scooby Image Source: http://blog.davidhoyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/shag_scoob1.jpg
“Show Me The Money” Image Source: http://www.jillstanek.com/show%20me%20the%20money.jpg
Lightning Image Source: http://www.windsun.com/pictures/Lightning1.jpg
“His speech was usually rambling, but this time I found it brief and laconic”
“Calvin Coolidge, our thirteenth president, was named “Silent Cal” by reporters because of his laconic speech”.
“a king seated one of his subjects underneath a sword that was hanging by a hair, in order to teach him the dangers a king faces”
“Although the president of the company seemed quite secure, he always complained that there was a sword of Damocles hanging over his head”
“The child who begs his mother to “get off his back” when she implores him for some assistance with the household drudgery, may plead urgently when he wants something for himself”
“She does her homework on Fridays to save herself from the drudgery of having to do it during the weekend.”
“When I tried to pour oil on troubled waters, both the angry husband and his wife stopped their quarrel and began to attack me”
In order to make the dream a reality you need a goal with a date signifying when you plan on reaching that goal. Clear objectives must be outlined showing benchmark dates and tasks where you “check in” to see how you are progressing towards reaching the goal. You can’t just say, “I want to buy a house” and not give yourself a deadline with measurable benchmarks. You have to say, “I want to buy a house by Spring 2011” and then give yourself three, four, or six month incremental benchmark dates to check your progress.
Here are a few examples of various types of goals (broken down by category):
Financial: Increase my earnings to $9,250 per month beginning August 2011 (benchmark dates are every three months); eliminate my bad debt of $75,000 by Thanksgiving 2013 (every month I will pay off $2,083 in debt); pay off my $2,000 credit card debt before July 4, 2010 (I will pay $400 per month).
Relationship: I want to take my sweetie to Europe for 14 days by September 1, 2010 (benchmark of every two months); get married by July 1, 2011 (I will propose to her January 1, 2011); I want to have a baby by December 2010 (we will go off birth control next week; monthly benchmarks); take a couple’s cruise to reignite our “flame” by July 2010 (monthly payment plan and benchmark); start having weekly “date night’s” beginning March 1, 2010.
Spiritual: Read the entire Bible by the end May 2010 (March 20, 2010 benchmark to confirm half-way point).
Household: Re-paint the house by September 2010; new flooring by Christmas 2010.
Health/Fitness (weekly/monthly benchmarks): lose 10 pounds by April 1, 2010; run the 5K in May 2010; lower my cholesterol by 10 points by June 2010; run a mile in 5 minutes by April 29, 2010.
Once you have set your goals and objectives, you then share this information with one to two people who truly support you and want to see you succeed; so they can not only be your cheerleader, but also hold you accountable.
Copyright © 2010 by Natasha L. Foreman. All rights reserved.
>Wow this feels more like a journal entry than a blog. I wrote this entry exactly one week and two days ago today. I kept putting it off, looking at the sheet of paper I had written on…not sure. Not sure if it’s too revealing, too personal. Not sure if it will be taken out of context. Not sure if people or God will think I don’t have trust in Him. I don’t want my fear in any way to displease Him. I am not questioning or rushing you Lord. I’m just ‘feeling’. I guess all of these moments of not being sure don’t matter one way or the other. If it helps someone else then it serves its purpose. Uplifting others warms my soul and brings a smile to my face; I know this creates a domino effect…so I continue my passionate work even on days when it hurts!
When reading this post please don’t feel sorry for me. I’m not desperately waiting to ‘pounce’- let’s not forget that I walked this path, it didn’t land in my lap. Don’t attempt to rationalize or try to bring logic…just feel it…I am not a rare case. I speak because there are many others too ashamed to do it. They hide in secret; creating clever screen names on Internet support sites hoping to lean on other shoulders- sometimes never learning how to stand upright alone.This is something that has been going on for years; it is just becoming more alarming as the reality of life sets in globally. Developed nations are realizing with a sense of irony that we are actually behind (in some ways) our so-called undeveloped neighbors, and missing out on life’s sweetest pleasures.
No, I will not stop talking about it even when it no longer becomes my personal issue…because it is an issue…because it affects thousands of women and men daily…because it is not a game we can pause and come back to…because one of my purposes in life is being gambled with and I know that other women and men are experiencing this very thing. So as long as I have air in my lungs, a warmed beating heart, and a functioning mind I will speak on this. Now prepare yourself because you may have experienced this (or presently experiencing it) or you may be the other party in this conversation and simply not realize the impact of your words. Hopefully after reading this you will think before you speak and consider the shoes you’re not walking in.
Seeking out the Eye for Temporary Relief from the Storm
January 31, 2010
She means well. Never purposely intending to cause harm on any level, but earlier today something she said struck a chord; it stung painfully to my core as the reality of her words rocked my very essence. It was her apparent fear that reconfirmed my own. Her words marked my mortality, highlighted my closing window on those beloved and treasured reproductive years more and more women are seeing slip away.
Crazy thing is I can’t recall specifically what she said, it is really of no importance…it is how I felt. It’s how I internalized things until they flowed from my eyes many hours past, while sitting on a plane headed to Chicago as the passenger to my left steadily perused through a couple of bridal magazines. The slow creeping feeling of pain grew from my feet and stomach simultaneously, gradually consuming my body- placing heaviest pressure on my chest and shoulders. No where can I turn. Where do I walk, to the lavatory? I can’t stay in there long; it will only bring attention to me. So I sit here with tears occasionally streaming down my face as I glance every so often at the brightly colored images within the bridal magazines.
Two failed engagements equals two called off weddings, two engagement rings stashed away, one wedding gown hanging patiently, and a wedding binder sitting on the floor of my office. If it could it would ask, “what the heck happened?”
It’s amazing how a comment about someone’s chances at marriage, family, and feelings of completeness can grab them so tightly that it feels like all of their organs are convulsing at the same time while tied together with a jumbo rubber band. I thought school would be a distracting force. I thought church would bring me added purpose and patience for God’s will and grace. I thought an attempt to revive the career I put on the back burner to help the ego of another would bring me peace and resolve as I remained…focused. None of these things serve as a band-aid to the open wound that is causing me so much grief. None are the anti-inflammatory pill needed to simply COPE.
I share this openly only because I know I’m not the only woman in her 30s experiencing this; matter of fact I know there are women in their 40s who feel as though they are on that last stretch of the marathon where they can have both marriage and family.
I know I’m not the only woman tired of hearing people say, “girl you better hurry and find a man” while at the same time I’m frowning at those who say “you’ve got plenty of time…there’s women getting pregnant at all ages after 35….” I understand that the latter comment especially, is not meant to pacify me and other women. I know it’s said to give hope, to restore the faith that God’s plan is the only plan. It still casts a mirror in the faces of us that put our careers first; that entered into dead relationships with men who passed time and played house as our precious time ticked away.
If it’s merely a wait for marriage then sure you have plenty of time. If however your wait is for marriage and children, every 25 to 34 days you lose one more petal from your flower. You realize that you’re getting one day closer to being too tired to play with the kids or to take them this place or that place. Or worse you’re getting one day closer to being told, “I’m sorry you simply waited much too long…ever consider adoption?” Yes, but not as my only option.
It’s like a tornado and I’m looking for the calm within its eye just so I can cope, breathe, and cry silently with a smile on my face…just in case some storm chaser catches a glimpse.
Copyright © 2010 by Natasha L. Foreman. All rights reserved; excluding some images.
Tornado Image Source: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.freewebs.com/cropcirclelanguage/A131%2B11.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.freewebs.com/cropcirclelanguage/&usg=__sNZ06SMfOZyp0uDv4v-hSHajg6I=&h=398&w=600&sz=21&hl=en&start=7&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=f9jRy3Qd2QYCCM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3Deye%2Bof%2Bthe%2Btornado%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1
Woman with Clock Image Source: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mBqv5-11iEQ/Sspjh5u0wnI/AAAAAAAAAKo/PBeT7OKjfb8/s400/refi_clock_ticking.jpg
Negative Pregnancy Test Source: http://www.electrical-res.com/EX/10-17-17/pregnancy-test-after-use-negative-single-blue-line-no-cross-indicator-on-instruction-leaflet-background-1-DHD.jpg
Image of Natasha L. Foreman Source: Natasha L. Foreman
Engagement Ring Boxes Source: Natasha L. Foreman
Wedding Binder Source: Natasha L. Foreman